Realtionships ROCK!

All of our relationships teach us about ourselves.  Our romantic partners, children, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, and our adversaries all bring up and point out our "stuff."  Our closest relationships have the potential to really help us grow and become more of who were truly are.  Sounds like woo woo to you, that's fine.  If everyone in your life pisses you off, pushes your buttons, makes you angry, and you want to feel better...then suspend your old way of thinking for a minute.  You see, these triggers are a gift.  They don't feel like it, but they can be.  These are  opportunities to look within and ask yourself lots of questions:

~Why do I get so ANGRY when people don't agree, validate, or make me happy by what they are doing?  (Often with our children, coworkers, partners, etc...whatever situations make you really mad.)  It's a chance to let go of the need to control others and find peace within ourselves, no matter what someone else is doing. 

~When my feelings get HURT from someone not including me, insulting me, or my partner/friend/parent/whoever not giving me enough attention...what is this bringing up for me to heal?  (Whatever triggers make you feel wounded is the key here.)  Your past feelings from when you were picked last in gym class come up at times like this. 

~Whenever you go into the dynamic of blame and victim, stop for a second.  Listen to what you are saying and thinking.  "They always do this.  Everyone does this to me.  Whatever I do is never enough for you.  You make me so mad.  All you ever do is take, take, take.  You're so mean to me.  You never do it right."  Sometimes we have a habit of saying the same things often to people or thinking them.  This is a great time to journal or take a piece of paper out to find out what else is going on.  You can:  A.  Write down what you want to feel.  What you want, instead of what's going on.  B. Write down all the times you can think of where you felt this way.  It helps heal, when you deal.  C.  Write down how you could possibly say, do, or think of the situation or person differently.   

Avoiding people and situations can work for a little while, but eventually you'll encounter people...unless you hide away in a hut somewhere, which I certainly did not come here for.  I came here to learn, grow, enjoy, teach, and so many other things.  What works for me is to be honest with myself.  I don't have to necessarily tell they other person they upset me.  It can create unnecessary drama.  There intention may be good, but you have a negative reaction because it's about YOU.  Isn't that awesome!  Everyone doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy!  This is where my four children give me countless times a day to do my internal work so I can experience more joy.  As always, do what works for you.  Setting intentions, forgiving, letting go, blessing others, Law of Attraction, self-growth, sending love & light, healing energy, new agey-woo woo stuff continues to change my life.  So I'm gonna keep on keepin' on!  And remember...No one can "make" you feel bad or mad.  What they do or say has no power over you.   You are way more powerful that that.  You have a choice always.  Blessings!

Let your haters, be your motivators!

I share these negative comments from two of my Jennylicious youtube videos, because I found some great lessons from them.  On my video, "Shake your biscuit,"  This person commented:  I feel bad for ur children... Having a mom who doesn't kno how to act like an adult, grow up please!

And on my video,"I'm so pretty,"  she commented:  I'm a girl, and even think ugly girls shouldn't make videos like this. Just saying.... Freedom of speech.

Interesting, huh?  When I first checked my email and saw this, I cringed...a mean comment doesn't feel good.  Oh, but it does, after you see that it is not about you, it's about them.   One of the greatest lessons is to not take things personally, which is definitely a lot easier when it is a stranger.

First of all, I could delete it.  But I won't.  I am not embarrassed.  I know who I am.  I responded to her in a kind manner.   Her opinion is through her lens she views the world with.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a really great Mom, and HELL YEAH, I am silly.  I am never growing up and I don't care what anyone thinks of that.  Being kid-like and also being a responsible parent is what I am.  As for the second video, I guess she is saying I am ugly.  Which is fine. I know I am beautiful and that is all that matters.  She doesn't have a picture up, but I hope she feels beautiful and that she loves herself.  When you truly love yourself, you don't need to comment mean things, to hurt other people.  You wish everyone the best.  

Plus, I did not come here to be liked, I came here to be ME.  It's easy to retreat when someone doesn't like your video, your book, your painting, your photography, your music, or whatever.  It makes you reexamine why you are doing it.  It you are making it so that EVERYONE likes it, it's going to be watered down and not authentic.  So why do I put myself out there, with my videos, to be judged by all the world to see?  I make videos because they are fun, they uplift, inspire, amuse, & spread good vibes.  I could always disable the comments section.  But why?  Other people may want to tell me that I made them laugh, giggle, feel lighter.  That they decided to step outside their box and buy that leopard dress, because they were inspired by my zany spirit.  

And no worries all you beautiful peeps, I will not be deterred by negative Nancies.  I am still going to make videos, write books, and shine my awesomeness for all the world to see.  I have a wonderful group of cheerleaders and I feel blessed to have them.  I am cheering on each and every one of you who are reading this on.  I believe in you.  I believe in me.  What energy you put out there, comes back you you.  And to my naysayers,  Namaste, Blessings, & all the yummy delicious to you.  

P.S.  My kids thought it was funny!  I am so blessed to have them.  My ten year old wanted to comment back a mean comment in my defense, but I said that would not make me look like a very good mommy.  ;p  MUAH!  xoxo

Silly Pickle Dilly

This morning, I was getting stuff ready to make breakfast for my lil' guys.  I was talking to my hubby, who has been working CRAZY hours, so I feel like I haven't seen him in a week.  The fridge was open and my youngest, two year old Seamus, loves to grab anything he can, especially things on the shelves of the fridge door.  He twisted pickle jar lid off, spilling pickle juice everywhere.  I was so annoyed, all this frustration came out of nowhere and I started saying all this silly victim crap.  Stay at home mom, BS thinking, I was really good at, years ago.  Interesting reaction.  Kind of like, yelling over spilled pickle juice, is the new crying over spilled milk.  I let myself feel overwhelmed with trying to do EVERYTHING.  My mind was racing.  It's not even about getting everything done even, it's prioritizing what is important.  Everyday I have to feed the kids, do laundry, dishes, pick up from activities, etc. I don't have to clean up the toys clean every night, but I do because I like that way.  Not that I am neat freak,  I have no time to be a neat freak.  I try to fit in exercise at some point, most days.  I meditate when my youngest two are sleeping, except last night, I was too burnt out.  But I did get some writing done yesterday.  It is always my goal to exercise, write, and mediate, so days like that I love.  Because I follow the Law of Attraction and like to feel good, after two minutes, and I was clear and back to feeling grateful he has a job. 

I changed my focus, and thought about all of things, in this past week that I really appreciated.  Every time Seamus yelled out to Finnegan, pronouncing it as, "Cinnamon."  It never gets old.  And he says, "I lud de too," for I love you too.  The time I was in the car with my Mom, and she she thought the song, "G6," they were saying, "Like a cheesesteak, high like a cheesesteak."  Cheese stick sounds more like it though.  And how Seamus pronounces her name, Gibby, as Buddy.  The other day, Finnegan, who is five told me that Seamus's breath was chaotic.  He proceeded to tell me lots of things were chaotic that day, even a giraffe, that he once saw at the zoo.  I asked if he knew what it meant and he said no.  That I have two new TV shows that I love.  I love to watch TV, or read a book, at night after the kids are asleep.  It's my "me" time.  On Long Island Medium, the lady is adorable, and she's the real deal.  And the show, Smash, where the cast is amazing talented.  The one guy, who plays the director, is such a hottie too.  As I really thought about how much I love in life, I looked out the window to abundant sunshine, and saw a vibrant blue sky.  That is my natural state, happy.

Hours later, I was feeling that a friend of mine didn't think I was important.  Which really had nothing to do with her.  My feelings got hurt and I looked at the energy of it.  I did not want to be upset, peace is what I like to feel, with everyone.  WOW, lots of my fiery tiger feelings was coming up.  I knew there was a juicy piece for me to learn.  So I thought about all the friends that are important to me, even if I don't call them.  I haven't returned one of my best friend's phone calls from the other day, not because she is not important, but I am busy.  I released the feelings and underneath, I felt my truth.  How am I not making myself important?  Where am I not making myself important?  How am I not making what I say, do, or write important?  Times when I felt invisible came up.  Do I not value myself?  Hmm....I got the message from a energy worker that I needed to do this, making myself a priority.  I thought I was.  But I think the balance thing is so different for everyone. For instance, I have to clean up the toys every night, but don't mind if the laundry sits in a basket unfolded for a day.  I am not trying to be Super woman, but maybe I was, in some ways.  I was thinking, how can I make my writing more important.  It is easy to write when my hubby is off.  I know Danielle Steele, who has seven kids, wrote at night when her kids were little.  That is not going to work for me right now.  My brain doesn't work as well the, it requires meditation, TV, and a glass of wine.  I really was so glad these feelings came up.

I didn't need to figure out how I am going to put myself more on the radar.  Or how I am going to find more writing time?  It was about realizing that in some ways, that I did not value myself.  There is the part that doesn't really value what I write or say.  I thought about times, that as a stay at home mom, that I didn't feel valued or important for what I did too.  There is came again.  Mixed with "I am worthy" stuff.  What is my worth?  My sassy spiritual sexpot side decided to chime in saying, "I am a friggin' ROCKSTAR!"  Of course I am important, valueable, and worthy.  Look at me!  I am fabulous!  I am wise, fun, creative, talented, and radiate love.  I have so much to bring to this world, by shining my Light, who I really am.  So release those self-esteem issues and step further into yourself.  Don't worry about whether you are a good enough mother, writer, friend, wife, whatever!  DUH, you are!  Having awareness and releasing limiting beliefs frees you.  And soon, you will have someone clean your house, so you can have a clean house and write.  YES!  That will be awesome!  I love you! And you don't have to be super woman, but you can be Wonder Woman.  LOL!"  Yes, this was me talking to myself. Come on, we all do it. 

Always remember your value and how important you are.  Balance in your life is not the same for everyone.  You make it work for your life.  For me, I know that I have to write, it is in my soul.  If I didn't, I would not feel fulfilled.  And also, when emotions come up, look within and see what it is.  Then release it and move on to what you want.  Be easy on yourself.  It's OK to need more "me" time than someone else. Or not like to have as much on your plate as someone else.  We're all different.  Another thing, when you think you have already learned a lesson, and it rears its ugly head again, don't be hard on yourself.  It's like the peeling the layers of the onions.  It's all good.  Trust that.  Being a positive person doesn't mean you never have negative moment, it's that you choose to not stay there.  And ALWAYS Love yourself.  I share my feelings, being authentic and open, so maybe someone will get some insight into their own life or they will learn something.  Being yourself doesn't have to make you be vulnerable, it make make set you free.  Namaste, Lovies, Shanti, Blessings, & all yummy delicious stuff to all of you!  

FREE to be Queen B!

Queen Bee is a term used to describe the "it" girl, that other girls follow.  It's her confident energy that people are attracted to.  People see something in her, that they want to be.  Dressing like her, acting like her, or listening to her, can make them feel good, for a little while.  We've all gotten swept up in someone else's energy, even through boyfriends, or a group of people, like in a club.  Eventually, you realize that you are not really being you and want to be free.  That feeling of really being yourself, is the ultimate freedom.  As adults, we may even see celebrities, TV personalities, or spiritual gurus that seem to have it all, and we want what they are having.  But really, we can't.  We are not meant to be like anyone else.  And you want to feel, what it looks like they are feeling.  So decide to feel that NOW.  Practice feeling confident, sexy, carefree, smart, sassy, or whatever you want to be and BE it.  Also surround yourself with people who honor your uniqueness and are not threatened by you being different than them, is true friendship.  And we make the best friends, when we know and love ourselves.

I am my own Queen B now, but I remember floundering around, when I was younger, always feeling like a fish out of water.  It's cause I was really a mermaid.  :)  Thankfully I figured that out and embrace my true nature. But when I was in maybe fourth grade, I thought my friend was super-duper-cool and she said she liked this one TVshow.  I said that I did too, but I actually had never even heard of it. She was saying to her brother, remember that episode where...and they asked if I saw it.  I said yes.  They said that they had made it up.  I felt so dumb.  This scenario sounds like an episode off of a kid's show nowadays, teaching kids to not be a follower.  I see so many beautiful lessons I have had that led me to this very moment.  We learn through our experiences, if we are aware of ourselves, and life gets so much easier and way better. 

I went through cycles of being a follower, a leader, a hater, an appreciator, an envious-jealous-meany, a loving-supportive-uplifter, and more, when I was growing up.  When I was really truly being me, I had a blast, laughing and acting like a complete goof.  It wasn't really until after I turned thirty that I can really truly say that I really knew who I was.  I let myself be ME.  I let myself be FREE to be my own Queen B.  The B, for me, is beauty, blessings, bliss, bling, bootylicious, babies, bubbles, and soon lots of brouhaha.  I dream big for me and I wish well for all, because I know there is no competition.  When I really let myself be my sparkly Queen B self, I saw the possibilities were endless and decided what I wanted for me.  I stepped outside my own box and realized I am so much more than I ever knew and I could do anything, like write a book.  And I want my friends and everyone to succeed in ever way, to be happy, and to BE themselves.  We all have the power within us to be Queen B, of our own lives, creating what we want and living deliciously, fabulously, & happily after all.  We can all be Queen B, isn't that freeing!  Be ridiculously amazingly YOU!

This is dedicated to my BFF, Shannon, who I have always been myself with, and we have always loved and supported each other.  The very first time that we hung out, we were laughing so hard, we couldn't breathe.  There has never been any competition, we were more like the kind of Bees that like flowers, honey, and just flying around, not needing to be boss.  I am so blessed and lucky to know her, since we were in seventh grade, and watch her become this amazing woman and wonderful mother.  We are each other's biggest cheerleaders and we are going places, Baby!  My wish for you all is to have a friend like her and to be yourself, Queen B's!!!