I do love looking at myself in the mirror, but this is about a different kind of mirror. Our relationships are our mirror, to truly see ourselves. When we are in our solitude, we gain peace, clarity, and insight. But if you really want to know about yourself, have relationships with lots of people. I don't mean be a hoochie, but rather be a spouse/partner/significant other, mom/dad, daughter/son, sister/brother, friend, co-worker, teacher, etc. Our relationships show us what we may want to work on, or what we would like to change, in ourselves, it's always about us. If you look outside yourself for love, peace, or happiness, you will always be at the mercy of outside forces. You can change any relationship, from within. It's all your perspective.
If you feel like you were someone's victim, that may be true...but you do not want to stay that. You are a powerful being, free from anyone else's influence, free from your past. No matter what the thing, that person did, the longer you dwell on it, the longer they still hurt you. You can imagine yourself cutting a cord that energetically attaches you and them together. You can write them a letter getting all of your pain out and then burn it. You can process why they did it, until the cows come home, but then it's about them. You can analyze your feelings to death or you can move on. Move on, because YOU are worth it.
If someone ticked you off or offends, look at your part, your reaction. What buttons does it press? What "issues" does it trigger? I had a friend, who I had known for over five years "unfriend" me on Facebook. Why? We know it's not because I write mean things. I guess we are not a match anymore. For a split second, I thought, what did I do wrong? Then I remember, nothing, being me is fabulous. Releasing the need to be right and not taking things personally frees you, from other's drama. If my Dad, or my daughter, say that I am wrong for thinking the way I do, or don't get me, it's an opportunity for me. For me to stand in my truth and be myself, loving myself totally. Regulating your thoughts and feeling is literally the key to your happiness.
If you feel someone doesn't make you happy, it's not their job. You are totally in charge of your happiness. If you say they don't love or accept me, and if they did, you would be happy-happier-feel good...you gave all your power away. Loving and accepting yourself improves your relationships more than anything. You set the tone, vibrationally with people, from within. I have learned this through my marriage. I have been married for fifteen years, since I was 19 years old. Many times, I would look to him to change, when it was really about me finding happiness inside myself. The happier I am, the better partner I make, for sure. I also can't be on a roller coaster of happiness/unhappiness by what one of my four kids is doing. Regardless of what carnival of craziness is going on in my house, my happy place really is within. Each of my children teach me different things, in how they challenge me. I think, Hmm....well here, I am letting go of needing to control, or needing someone to agree, or whatever it is.
My best advice with friendship break-ups, is to think of what you did like about them, and leave the rest of the crap alone. You can just have changed, grown apart,without having to make them bad or wrong. You don't want all those yucky feelings in your heart. If people don't like you, you have to adopt the "Oh well-whatever-who cares" attitude. You don't necessarily like everyone, or prefer their personality either. Resentment, past hurts, old stories, are the metaphoric baggage we choose to carry, or not. The past has past. Whatever someone did, made you feel like, or whatever, doesn't deserve space in your mind. Let go of it. Take it to a higher perspective. See them as a soul. It's way easier to forgive then.
If you see yourself repeating certain patterns with people, you can change it. If you find yourself playing victim, with your friends, spouse, the lady at the grocery store. Celebrate. You are getting a huge message loud and clear. And now you see, that you don't like it, so affirm, "I am a powerful being. I am in control of my own life. I have control over my thoughts, feelings, and actions." The more you focus on positive thoughts, letting go of crappy one, you will see this affirm is totally true. Now if you attract needy people, ask yourself why. Do you feel more valuable when people need you? Do you have the idea that all people do is take, take, take? Hello, victim again, just hiding in a different costume. Do you have a problem saying no, standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, you like to people please.? This is a worthiness thing. Feeling more worthy when you are a nice person, do good things, or when you give more than receive, is a trap. It is wonderful to give and be nice, I do all the time, but not at the expense of myself. If you are doing this not from your highest place, in your soul, you feel drained, and taken advantage of. If you think, well I should do it or what will people think if I don't do it...RED FLAG. Affirm: I am worthy because I exist. I am worthy of all good things. I am worthy because I am a wonderful human being. I am worthy because I am a Divine soul." Or make up your own affirmations, that feel good to you. There are great affirmations from Louise L. Hay, she is the Queen of Affirmations. See, all the things that you thought we bad about self, your issues, challenges, they aren't the end of the world. You are so powerful and you can change anything.
I can't live in a hut mediating all day, so I learn spiritually through being a Mom. and all the other brilliant things I am, right in New Jersey. I learn more everyday about myself and the world, through my experiences and relationships. Relationships are such a beautiful thing. The reflect back to us how we really feel inside and shine a light on how we really think. Use this to your benefit. The more you work on making yourself happy and loving yourself, the better you relationships get. And if they don't change much, you give it less energy, cause you choose YOU, over them. Always choose YOU and you will love everyone way more. Yay for you! Cheering, supporting, and believing in you always! :) Now go look in the mirror and blow yourself a kiss and say "I LOVE YOU!"
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
FREE to be Queen B!
Queen Bee is a term used to describe the "it" girl, that other girls follow. It's her confident energy that people are attracted to. People see something in her, that they want to be. Dressing like her, acting like her, or listening to her, can make them feel good, for a little while. We've all gotten swept up in someone else's energy, even through boyfriends, or a group of people, like in a club. Eventually, you realize that you are not really being you and want to be free. That feeling of really being yourself, is the ultimate freedom. As adults, we may even see celebrities, TV personalities, or spiritual gurus that seem to have it all, and we want what they are having. But really, we can't. We are not meant to be like anyone else. And you want to feel, what it looks like they are feeling. So decide to feel that NOW. Practice feeling confident, sexy, carefree, smart, sassy, or whatever you want to be and BE it. Also surround yourself with people who honor your uniqueness and are not threatened by you being different than them, is true friendship. And we make the best friends, when we know and love ourselves.
I am my own Queen B now, but I remember floundering around, when I was younger, always feeling like a fish out of water. It's cause I was really a mermaid. :) Thankfully I figured that out and embrace my true nature. But when I was in maybe fourth grade, I thought my friend was super-duper-cool and she said she liked this one TVshow. I said that I did too, but I actually had never even heard of it. She was saying to her brother, remember that episode where...and they asked if I saw it. I said yes. They said that they had made it up. I felt so dumb. This scenario sounds like an episode off of a kid's show nowadays, teaching kids to not be a follower. I see so many beautiful lessons I have had that led me to this very moment. We learn through our experiences, if we are aware of ourselves, and life gets so much easier and way better.
I went through cycles of being a follower, a leader, a hater, an appreciator, an envious-jealous-meany, a loving-supportive-uplifter, and more, when I was growing up. When I was really truly being me, I had a blast, laughing and acting like a complete goof. It wasn't really until after I turned thirty that I can really truly say that I really knew who I was. I let myself be ME. I let myself be FREE to be my own Queen B. The B, for me, is beauty, blessings, bliss, bling, bootylicious, babies, bubbles, and soon lots of brouhaha. I dream big for me and I wish well for all, because I know there is no competition. When I really let myself be my sparkly Queen B self, I saw the possibilities were endless and decided what I wanted for me. I stepped outside my own box and realized I am so much more than I ever knew and I could do anything, like write a book. And I want my friends and everyone to succeed in ever way, to be happy, and to BE themselves. We all have the power within us to be Queen B, of our own lives, creating what we want and living deliciously, fabulously, & happily after all. We can all be Queen B, isn't that freeing! Be ridiculously amazingly YOU!
This is dedicated to my BFF, Shannon, who I have always been myself with, and we have always loved and supported each other. The very first time that we hung out, we were laughing so hard, we couldn't breathe. There has never been any competition, we were more like the kind of Bees that like flowers, honey, and just flying around, not needing to be boss. I am so blessed and lucky to know her, since we were in seventh grade, and watch her become this amazing woman and wonderful mother. We are each other's biggest cheerleaders and we are going places, Baby! My wish for you all is to have a friend like her and to be yourself, Queen B's!!!
I am my own Queen B now, but I remember floundering around, when I was younger, always feeling like a fish out of water. It's cause I was really a mermaid. :) Thankfully I figured that out and embrace my true nature. But when I was in maybe fourth grade, I thought my friend was super-duper-cool and she said she liked this one TVshow. I said that I did too, but I actually had never even heard of it. She was saying to her brother, remember that episode where...and they asked if I saw it. I said yes. They said that they had made it up. I felt so dumb. This scenario sounds like an episode off of a kid's show nowadays, teaching kids to not be a follower. I see so many beautiful lessons I have had that led me to this very moment. We learn through our experiences, if we are aware of ourselves, and life gets so much easier and way better.
I went through cycles of being a follower, a leader, a hater, an appreciator, an envious-jealous-meany, a loving-supportive-uplifter, and more, when I was growing up. When I was really truly being me, I had a blast, laughing and acting like a complete goof. It wasn't really until after I turned thirty that I can really truly say that I really knew who I was. I let myself be ME. I let myself be FREE to be my own Queen B. The B, for me, is beauty, blessings, bliss, bling, bootylicious, babies, bubbles, and soon lots of brouhaha. I dream big for me and I wish well for all, because I know there is no competition. When I really let myself be my sparkly Queen B self, I saw the possibilities were endless and decided what I wanted for me. I stepped outside my own box and realized I am so much more than I ever knew and I could do anything, like write a book. And I want my friends and everyone to succeed in ever way, to be happy, and to BE themselves. We all have the power within us to be Queen B, of our own lives, creating what we want and living deliciously, fabulously, & happily after all. We can all be Queen B, isn't that freeing! Be ridiculously amazingly YOU!
This is dedicated to my BFF, Shannon, who I have always been myself with, and we have always loved and supported each other. The very first time that we hung out, we were laughing so hard, we couldn't breathe. There has never been any competition, we were more like the kind of Bees that like flowers, honey, and just flying around, not needing to be boss. I am so blessed and lucky to know her, since we were in seventh grade, and watch her become this amazing woman and wonderful mother. We are each other's biggest cheerleaders and we are going places, Baby! My wish for you all is to have a friend like her and to be yourself, Queen B's!!!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
C what I'm talkin' about!
I learn a lot from my children. I learn about myself in parenting them. I am blessed to have four kids, who keep me on my toes, and being me lots of joy. I have one daughter, McKayla, a fourteen year old, in her first year of high school. I have three sons, Aidan (10-5th grade), Finnegan (almost 5-preschool) and Seamus (2 yrs old today). I deal with different personalities and different ages, which all have their awesome parts and their...well, their opportunities for me to grow. I cannot control any of them, nor would I want to, except when they are bad. LOL! I see those places where I get frustrated and want to control, as a way for me to really let go. It really changes your state of mind. I wanted to share some of what I've been learning and realizing for myself. The Crappy C's and the Cool C's.
Crappy C's
Compare: Never compare yourself to others. It's a dumb game that you will lose to someone, in some area. I want my kids to learn that you really are running your OWN race, not against someone else. Ahhh...in my twenties, I compared myself to every other mother. This is the biggest energy drain. Just do YOU, do YOU good, and leave everyone else out of it. When you really work on loving yourself, you value yourself more, and don't need to make others, better or worse, than you. You realize you are free, to be you, and they are free, to be them.
Compete: When you are focused on how well someone else is doing, it may momentarily give you a boost to get your butt in gear, but then what...they go ahead of you, or someone else now is, and then you are back to square one. Let yourself shine, in your own way, doing your best and you will be happy because you are enjoying YOUR journey. I really do wish everyone well and that they have success, there is plenty to go around. I want my kids to realize that compare & compete are an evil duo, not to be messed with.
Control: My kids are so good at providing me with material to learn this one. Whether it is them, not listening/attitude/being kids, or your neighbor, brother, partner, friend, whoever, you CANNOT control anyone. When you are trying to force it, see what happens, when you let go. One of my sanity savers is sending Light & Love to whoever and it centers me. If I act like an ass and yell, I remind myself, that while that yields immediate results, in the process I felt bad. So what do I want...to feel good, or control/get my way/let others have the key to my happiness.
Complain: Where you ever listening to someone complain and thinking, I wish they would shut the hell up. Well, that's what you sound like you complain. It doesn't solve anything. Maybe for some, they get people to change behaviors, but going about it in a positive way, makes you feel a heck of a lot better, in the process. And if you observe people, you will see the Law of Attraction at work, in that if they constantly complain, they attract more to complain about. I have heard people complain about things, that I thought were good, it's all perspective. Like grocery shopping, I love having a variety to choose from and the money to pay for them. That makes it a totally different experience for me. It's the same with exercise and cooking, you can find they joy, cause why live on minute of your life, not trying to make the best of it.
Cool C's (Could be called Conscious C's also)
Cultivate: Create new way of thinking, more positive thoughts and lots of appreciation. New habits like meditation (one of the best things I ever did), a gratitude journal, and there are a million books of self-help, positive thinking, spirituality that can really change your life. Even if you replace some TV shows with funnier ones or really a juicy novel, or whatever brings you joy at the end of your day. Remember you can change your life by cultivating a new version of it. In my upbeat attitude, I show my kids how to cultivate a way of life.
Choose: We have many choices we take for granted. We get to choose what we eat, what we wear, what we read, watch on TV, who we hang out with, and what we think. Be choosy about your thoughts, Don't let a bunch of negative garbage play on a constant loop in your head. OK, so your boss is an ass, change jobs or change your attitude about him. You get to choose how you think, and if you don't like your negative thinking, cause you realize it's not working anymore, than you can choose to think positively. I teach my kids, that each one of us, can always choose differently, in each moment. And if you mess up, there is always next time.
Clarity: With each interaction we have, everything we see, read, hear we make judgements. We don't have to judge them as good or bad, but by rather if it feels good to us, resonates with us, works for us. We gain clarity everyday. I like that, I'd like more of that, I LOVE that! When we can detach a little and not take everything personally, we can see things much clearer. For me, clarity is not about figuring out everything, but a vibrational, spiritual, energy thing. When something makes my heart sing, touches my soul, and opens my mind more I gain so much clarity. I teach my kids that they make up their own minds and that it is up to each one of us, to decide what we believe. I can't give them or anyone clarity, I wouldn't wnat to rob them of their joyful journey.
Care: Take care of yourself. Take baths, move your body, eat delicious things, feed your soul with things that delight you. Care about how you feel about you. My message is always~LOVE YOURSELF! And you are so much more loving to everyone, when you have taken care of yourself. Don't expect yourself to be perfect and get down on yourself. Always forgive yourself for mistakes, the past is done, and now move forward. Only dwell on the positive. Every time I say I love you to my kids, I am building their self-esteem. I want them to know they are ROCKSTARS. How I treat myself, is what they learn about how to treat themselves. So, if you leave dishes in the sink, your playroom doesn't get leaned one day, you forgot it was show-and-tell day at school...oh well. It is OK. Feeling guilty is a waste, life is to be lived!
My goal everyday is to uplift and inspire, especially through my writing and blogging. I love to spread joy and remind others to love themselves. I aim to raise my vibration and deepen my connection to God/Source/Universe and have fun! You get to choose what works for you, isn't that awesome! Muah to ALL!
Crappy C's
Compare: Never compare yourself to others. It's a dumb game that you will lose to someone, in some area. I want my kids to learn that you really are running your OWN race, not against someone else. Ahhh...in my twenties, I compared myself to every other mother. This is the biggest energy drain. Just do YOU, do YOU good, and leave everyone else out of it. When you really work on loving yourself, you value yourself more, and don't need to make others, better or worse, than you. You realize you are free, to be you, and they are free, to be them.
Compete: When you are focused on how well someone else is doing, it may momentarily give you a boost to get your butt in gear, but then what...they go ahead of you, or someone else now is, and then you are back to square one. Let yourself shine, in your own way, doing your best and you will be happy because you are enjoying YOUR journey. I really do wish everyone well and that they have success, there is plenty to go around. I want my kids to realize that compare & compete are an evil duo, not to be messed with.
Control: My kids are so good at providing me with material to learn this one. Whether it is them, not listening/attitude/being kids, or your neighbor, brother, partner, friend, whoever, you CANNOT control anyone. When you are trying to force it, see what happens, when you let go. One of my sanity savers is sending Light & Love to whoever and it centers me. If I act like an ass and yell, I remind myself, that while that yields immediate results, in the process I felt bad. So what do I want...to feel good, or control/get my way/let others have the key to my happiness.
Complain: Where you ever listening to someone complain and thinking, I wish they would shut the hell up. Well, that's what you sound like you complain. It doesn't solve anything. Maybe for some, they get people to change behaviors, but going about it in a positive way, makes you feel a heck of a lot better, in the process. And if you observe people, you will see the Law of Attraction at work, in that if they constantly complain, they attract more to complain about. I have heard people complain about things, that I thought were good, it's all perspective. Like grocery shopping, I love having a variety to choose from and the money to pay for them. That makes it a totally different experience for me. It's the same with exercise and cooking, you can find they joy, cause why live on minute of your life, not trying to make the best of it.
Cool C's (Could be called Conscious C's also)
Cultivate: Create new way of thinking, more positive thoughts and lots of appreciation. New habits like meditation (one of the best things I ever did), a gratitude journal, and there are a million books of self-help, positive thinking, spirituality that can really change your life. Even if you replace some TV shows with funnier ones or really a juicy novel, or whatever brings you joy at the end of your day. Remember you can change your life by cultivating a new version of it. In my upbeat attitude, I show my kids how to cultivate a way of life.
Choose: We have many choices we take for granted. We get to choose what we eat, what we wear, what we read, watch on TV, who we hang out with, and what we think. Be choosy about your thoughts, Don't let a bunch of negative garbage play on a constant loop in your head. OK, so your boss is an ass, change jobs or change your attitude about him. You get to choose how you think, and if you don't like your negative thinking, cause you realize it's not working anymore, than you can choose to think positively. I teach my kids, that each one of us, can always choose differently, in each moment. And if you mess up, there is always next time.
Clarity: With each interaction we have, everything we see, read, hear we make judgements. We don't have to judge them as good or bad, but by rather if it feels good to us, resonates with us, works for us. We gain clarity everyday. I like that, I'd like more of that, I LOVE that! When we can detach a little and not take everything personally, we can see things much clearer. For me, clarity is not about figuring out everything, but a vibrational, spiritual, energy thing. When something makes my heart sing, touches my soul, and opens my mind more I gain so much clarity. I teach my kids that they make up their own minds and that it is up to each one of us, to decide what we believe. I can't give them or anyone clarity, I wouldn't wnat to rob them of their joyful journey.
Care: Take care of yourself. Take baths, move your body, eat delicious things, feed your soul with things that delight you. Care about how you feel about you. My message is always~LOVE YOURSELF! And you are so much more loving to everyone, when you have taken care of yourself. Don't expect yourself to be perfect and get down on yourself. Always forgive yourself for mistakes, the past is done, and now move forward. Only dwell on the positive. Every time I say I love you to my kids, I am building their self-esteem. I want them to know they are ROCKSTARS. How I treat myself, is what they learn about how to treat themselves. So, if you leave dishes in the sink, your playroom doesn't get leaned one day, you forgot it was show-and-tell day at school...oh well. It is OK. Feeling guilty is a waste, life is to be lived!
My goal everyday is to uplift and inspire, especially through my writing and blogging. I love to spread joy and remind others to love themselves. I aim to raise my vibration and deepen my connection to God/Source/Universe and have fun! You get to choose what works for you, isn't that awesome! Muah to ALL!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Hello 2012, into more joy we will delve! *ALERT* Resolutions are not dangerous.
Interesting energy, since January 1st. Lots of info surrounding 2012, and the consensus that I have found, is there is lots of movement and everything is moving faster. Lots of clearing of the old still, and like a reboot, of sorts. I will say, for me, I have felt like de-cluttering and letting go of whatever no longer serves me. I try to focus on the positive, always, but I'm getting nudged to step it up even further. Which means, sometimes, the old garbage in your mind (old beliefs, things people have said, fears, doubt, anger, shame, insecurities, whatever is not vibrationally a match, to what you want, or who you TRULY really are.) You may feel like you don't know why things pop up, just know that you can just relax, it's all good. Let it go. You may feel like you don't know what you believe anymore, which is GREAT, it brings clarity. Trust yourself. You are OK.
Yesterday, I had lots of feelings come up for me. I was frustrated bout things and getting angry. I was trying to observe my thoughts, without getting caught up in them. I feel for my ego's tricks, got trapped in my own drama, and I was pissed. I let myself experience it, knowing that I wanted to feel good, not this crap. I knew my truth wasn't this anymore. As I was vacuuming, which sounds hilarious to have an insight while vacuuming, I got more clear. I thought about how mad I use to be, on a daily basis, over lots of things. Life secretly drove me crazy, along with my kids, people, myself, and the world. I told myself to relax. Inner dialogue: Having a off day is totally OK. I still am an awesome ROCKSTAR! I know who I am. Being frustrated often, was what I did in the past. I had a need for control. It never worked well. I always had to fix something about myself. I thought I would always be flawed. Oh, I was so mean to me. And I thought so many things had to happen, in order to be happy. LOL...here goes: Everyone had to like and approve of me. LOL!!! I had be very thin, very rich, smarter, nicer, a perfect mother, daughter, friend, wife, whoever to whoever...blah blah to the blah! I had so many rules, conditions, in this box that I had put myself in. WOW! I am doing pretty damn great NOW! In the past three year, I have changed so much, more with each year. I am so happy nowadays, regardless of what goes on around me. I live on purpose. Because I know that everything always works out for me. And good things are always coming my way. I am so thankful for everything in my life. Ahh...baring my soul again....relief. :)
~If you set intentions, resolutions, or affirmations...whatever feelings are not a match to this, will usually come up for you. Don't freak out. Just choose to focus on what you want. See past your junk. Example: If you set a resolution to lose weight: You may remember things people said to you about your weight, feelings of not being good enough, fear of failure, whatever stands between you and your goal(in your mind.) Deep breath. Nothing is wrong. You are not screwing up. Breathe in. Feel the wonder of breathing and being alive, for a moment. Breathe out those feelings.
MY BADASS tip, for this new year: BE BOLD. When you feel confident enough, declare what you want. You will intuitively know when to walk through the fear and when to wait. I posted a picture of myself in a bikini, from the polar bear plunge on January 1st. I love my body. I love bikinis. I love looking good in a bikini. By the time it's swimsuit season, I am going to ROCK that bikini like Victoria's Secret model. I am toning up and letting go of fifteen pounds, easily and effortless. I have been fat and I have been thin, but really the only thing I was looking for is to be happy, especially with me. I'm happy with me. It's not even that it's a before picture, but rather, this is me. I love me. That's it. It's about not caring what others think. I was chained to that beast, for many years. It was a prison, in MY mind. Steps that that led to posting my bikini picture, were to blog, which feels in away like I am naked. It is BOLD. It's putting my ideas, words, and thoughts out there to be judged, critiqued, and of course, loved. I always hated to be judged, it was one of my greatest fears. I walk through it. I also wrote a book, that will be coming out in a few months, for all the world to read. There is sex and curse words in it, that some will not like, but I do, and it's not a children's book. What can I say, I like saucy! If people like my book, great, if not...oh well. I wrote it, because I love to write. I have to live my life for me. I make me happy this way.
I wish you ALL happiness this year. It's time for us all to shine. Listen to your inner voice and follow your bliss. Remember you always have your answers and you are the key to your happiness. YAY TO A BRAND NEW YEAR! Fresh start, baby! Daily!
Yesterday, I had lots of feelings come up for me. I was frustrated bout things and getting angry. I was trying to observe my thoughts, without getting caught up in them. I feel for my ego's tricks, got trapped in my own drama, and I was pissed. I let myself experience it, knowing that I wanted to feel good, not this crap. I knew my truth wasn't this anymore. As I was vacuuming, which sounds hilarious to have an insight while vacuuming, I got more clear. I thought about how mad I use to be, on a daily basis, over lots of things. Life secretly drove me crazy, along with my kids, people, myself, and the world. I told myself to relax. Inner dialogue: Having a off day is totally OK. I still am an awesome ROCKSTAR! I know who I am. Being frustrated often, was what I did in the past. I had a need for control. It never worked well. I always had to fix something about myself. I thought I would always be flawed. Oh, I was so mean to me. And I thought so many things had to happen, in order to be happy. LOL...here goes: Everyone had to like and approve of me. LOL!!! I had be very thin, very rich, smarter, nicer, a perfect mother, daughter, friend, wife, whoever to whoever...blah blah to the blah! I had so many rules, conditions, in this box that I had put myself in. WOW! I am doing pretty damn great NOW! In the past three year, I have changed so much, more with each year. I am so happy nowadays, regardless of what goes on around me. I live on purpose. Because I know that everything always works out for me. And good things are always coming my way. I am so thankful for everything in my life. Ahh...baring my soul again....relief. :)
~If you set intentions, resolutions, or affirmations...whatever feelings are not a match to this, will usually come up for you. Don't freak out. Just choose to focus on what you want. See past your junk. Example: If you set a resolution to lose weight: You may remember things people said to you about your weight, feelings of not being good enough, fear of failure, whatever stands between you and your goal(in your mind.) Deep breath. Nothing is wrong. You are not screwing up. Breathe in. Feel the wonder of breathing and being alive, for a moment. Breathe out those feelings.
MY BADASS tip, for this new year: BE BOLD. When you feel confident enough, declare what you want. You will intuitively know when to walk through the fear and when to wait. I posted a picture of myself in a bikini, from the polar bear plunge on January 1st. I love my body. I love bikinis. I love looking good in a bikini. By the time it's swimsuit season, I am going to ROCK that bikini like Victoria's Secret model. I am toning up and letting go of fifteen pounds, easily and effortless. I have been fat and I have been thin, but really the only thing I was looking for is to be happy, especially with me. I'm happy with me. It's not even that it's a before picture, but rather, this is me. I love me. That's it. It's about not caring what others think. I was chained to that beast, for many years. It was a prison, in MY mind. Steps that that led to posting my bikini picture, were to blog, which feels in away like I am naked. It is BOLD. It's putting my ideas, words, and thoughts out there to be judged, critiqued, and of course, loved. I always hated to be judged, it was one of my greatest fears. I walk through it. I also wrote a book, that will be coming out in a few months, for all the world to read. There is sex and curse words in it, that some will not like, but I do, and it's not a children's book. What can I say, I like saucy! If people like my book, great, if not...oh well. I wrote it, because I love to write. I have to live my life for me. I make me happy this way.
I wish you ALL happiness this year. It's time for us all to shine. Listen to your inner voice and follow your bliss. Remember you always have your answers and you are the key to your happiness. YAY TO A BRAND NEW YEAR! Fresh start, baby! Daily!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Jolly joy
I first want to say, Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Merry Christmas, and for those who do not celebrate those...delicious December to you. I felt moved to write about the real meaning of Christmas, that magical Christmas spirit. It sounds cliche to some, but I love a good cliche, with cheesy goodness mixed in, when it fits. This morning, I decided to try to hunt for the elf on the shelf book, which my four year old has been bugging me about. He kept asking me, when the elf was going to come, since he heard about it at school. I had already looked for one at a store, but they didn't have it, so I figured we would have to wait until next year. I told him that maybe there were not enough elves this year. His response, "Mom, there are like twenty-one (like that's an astronomical number) and one might be in my head." LOL. Giving it another try, I called a store in town and they had it. My Mom picked it up for me, cause she's the best. I just love when things are easy. Finn was overjoyed when he saw the elf.
After we read the story, I cleaned up in the kitchen. Finn said, "Mom don't listen, I have to tell the elf something." And for those without small children, when they whisper, it's either is really loud, or so soft it's like gibberish. I heard him say to the elf, "Please make Christmas special of everyone." That, there, is my Christmas present. My heart is full. I told him that he made Christmas really special for me. And he said I made all the holidays special for him, even the scary one, like Halloween. In that moment, I realized a huge thing. I thought back to when I was in my twenties and felt like I was not a good enough mother, unless I could buy the right things, do traditions like other people did them, and all that crap. My Mom always gave me and my little sisters pins to wear, candy, and cards for every holiday. I thought if I did not do it that way, it would not be special. And some years, I couldn't buy certain things for my kids, or do all the holiday things other people did, like taking them to see Disney on Ice or go skiing. I felt like a failure and that my kids would feel deprived. This, my friends, was all in my mind. My kids always had so many wonderful things, we went to New York to see a holiday show, and went to Disney world several times. It was just me comparing my life to others and wasn't really seeing the beauty that there was. It was seeing what was going wrong and not what was going right.
Today, it really dawned on me, that what I give my kids, in the way of enthusiasm for the holidays means more than any trinket I could buy them. I do not remember all those little pins my Mom gave us for holidays, but I remember the decorations and the feeling. I am so glad she gave me that love for holidays and life. My kids will remember me playing Christmas music all the time, the cookie extravaganza, the Christmas movies, me wearing a Santa hat and being really excited about Christmas. They will remember the magical feeling, that, yes comes with awesome gifts. But they will not remember the gifts when they get older, but rather, that they felt loved and special. My older ones will tell stories of complaining about driving around to see Christmas lights, when they just wanted to go home. They will remember, somehow slowly Dad took over holiday decorating and he enjoys it, and since Mom was no longer a control freak, she let him have free reign. That he also would make foot prints from Santa and knock over stuff so it looked realistic. They will have pictures of all four kids wearing some sort of Christmas pajamas, since I gave up on the matching ones. And we are always starting new traditions. We might even do New Years cards this year, who knows?
Lesson is: Let yourself off the hook, of trying to be perfect, or do it how other people do it. I think every family can have their OWN traditions that are unique to them. Have fun, the holidays are suppose to be a merry time, so if something stresses you out, re-think it. Just because you always did something, doesn't mean you can't change it up. Make it easy and joyful and if you can't change it, change you attitude about it. If you can't stand having to buy gifts for all these people, think about how awesome it is, that you have the money to buy the stuff. Count your blessings, you will truly feel the Christmas spirit then. Love to all!!! I wish I could send you all a cookie. I make the BEST chocolate chip cookies. I am calling them Jennylicious Joy cookies. Carry on with the merriment, my friends. :)
After we read the story, I cleaned up in the kitchen. Finn said, "Mom don't listen, I have to tell the elf something." And for those without small children, when they whisper, it's either is really loud, or so soft it's like gibberish. I heard him say to the elf, "Please make Christmas special of everyone." That, there, is my Christmas present. My heart is full. I told him that he made Christmas really special for me. And he said I made all the holidays special for him, even the scary one, like Halloween. In that moment, I realized a huge thing. I thought back to when I was in my twenties and felt like I was not a good enough mother, unless I could buy the right things, do traditions like other people did them, and all that crap. My Mom always gave me and my little sisters pins to wear, candy, and cards for every holiday. I thought if I did not do it that way, it would not be special. And some years, I couldn't buy certain things for my kids, or do all the holiday things other people did, like taking them to see Disney on Ice or go skiing. I felt like a failure and that my kids would feel deprived. This, my friends, was all in my mind. My kids always had so many wonderful things, we went to New York to see a holiday show, and went to Disney world several times. It was just me comparing my life to others and wasn't really seeing the beauty that there was. It was seeing what was going wrong and not what was going right.
Today, it really dawned on me, that what I give my kids, in the way of enthusiasm for the holidays means more than any trinket I could buy them. I do not remember all those little pins my Mom gave us for holidays, but I remember the decorations and the feeling. I am so glad she gave me that love for holidays and life. My kids will remember me playing Christmas music all the time, the cookie extravaganza, the Christmas movies, me wearing a Santa hat and being really excited about Christmas. They will remember the magical feeling, that, yes comes with awesome gifts. But they will not remember the gifts when they get older, but rather, that they felt loved and special. My older ones will tell stories of complaining about driving around to see Christmas lights, when they just wanted to go home. They will remember, somehow slowly Dad took over holiday decorating and he enjoys it, and since Mom was no longer a control freak, she let him have free reign. That he also would make foot prints from Santa and knock over stuff so it looked realistic. They will have pictures of all four kids wearing some sort of Christmas pajamas, since I gave up on the matching ones. And we are always starting new traditions. We might even do New Years cards this year, who knows?
Lesson is: Let yourself off the hook, of trying to be perfect, or do it how other people do it. I think every family can have their OWN traditions that are unique to them. Have fun, the holidays are suppose to be a merry time, so if something stresses you out, re-think it. Just because you always did something, doesn't mean you can't change it up. Make it easy and joyful and if you can't change it, change you attitude about it. If you can't stand having to buy gifts for all these people, think about how awesome it is, that you have the money to buy the stuff. Count your blessings, you will truly feel the Christmas spirit then. Love to all!!! I wish I could send you all a cookie. I make the BEST chocolate chip cookies. I am calling them Jennylicious Joy cookies. Carry on with the merriment, my friends. :)
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Bliss List
I love the quote: "Follow your bliss," by Joseph Campbell. I love the idea of finding your bliss and living your life to the fullest. Instead of a bucket list, I am writing bliss list. These are things that speak to my soul, that the very idea of them brings me joy. By writing them down, you gain more clarity surrounding them and you are telling the Universe that's what you want. Nothing is to big, too small, to superficial, too ludicrous, because it is YOUR list. How the hell does anyone know what is possible for you? Anything is possible. I'll start with twenty things. Let's start having some fun.
1. To skydive
2. To go into the jewelry store and buy myself diamonds
3. To learn to surf
4. To learn to play guitar
5. To be on the NY Times Bestseller's list
6. To meet Oprah
7. To take dance lessons
8. To take singing lessons
9. To have a hot tub
10. To go to Paris
11. To take my parents on a tropical vacation
12. To fly on a private jet
13. To buy a stranger a house
14. To go to Africa and bring presents for children
15. To drink Cristal
16. To swim with dolphins
17. Own a pair of Louboutins
18. Have a show on stage, to uplift & inspire others
19. Have a dog, or two.
20. Zipline in Hawaii
These are just off the top of my head. There are so many beautiful places that I want to see like Costa Rica, Bora Bora, Redwoods, Red Rocks in New Mexico, Greece, Italy, Ireland, and places with volcanoes, geysers, and many more beautiful natural wonders. I am going places, baby!
For me, it's freeing to do this publicly, but you can keep yours private. I say, this is me, people...take it or leave it, but these are some of MY desires. I will come up with even more, even later on today. I am a dreamer, a believer. I am already so damn happy, just eating a yummy lunch, that I cannot even imagine how fun these will be. Let your imagination go wild. Why not live this life to that max. Take a risk, to BE your true self. You are free to think whatever you want, want whatever you want, and be whatever you want. No excuses, dare to be true to you, regardless of what others think. If you feel drawn to something, pay attention to that. You higher self, soul, inner being is your guide. Your soul stirrings are for YOU, to see which path to take. Don't worry about others paths, that is theirs, keep your eyes on the road. BE YOU! Write your bliss list, make a vision board. What are you waiting for?
1. To skydive
2. To go into the jewelry store and buy myself diamonds
3. To learn to surf
4. To learn to play guitar
5. To be on the NY Times Bestseller's list
6. To meet Oprah
7. To take dance lessons
8. To take singing lessons
9. To have a hot tub
10. To go to Paris
11. To take my parents on a tropical vacation
12. To fly on a private jet
13. To buy a stranger a house
14. To go to Africa and bring presents for children
15. To drink Cristal
16. To swim with dolphins
17. Own a pair of Louboutins
18. Have a show on stage, to uplift & inspire others
19. Have a dog, or two.
20. Zipline in Hawaii
These are just off the top of my head. There are so many beautiful places that I want to see like Costa Rica, Bora Bora, Redwoods, Red Rocks in New Mexico, Greece, Italy, Ireland, and places with volcanoes, geysers, and many more beautiful natural wonders. I am going places, baby!
For me, it's freeing to do this publicly, but you can keep yours private. I say, this is me, people...take it or leave it, but these are some of MY desires. I will come up with even more, even later on today. I am a dreamer, a believer. I am already so damn happy, just eating a yummy lunch, that I cannot even imagine how fun these will be. Let your imagination go wild. Why not live this life to that max. Take a risk, to BE your true self. You are free to think whatever you want, want whatever you want, and be whatever you want. No excuses, dare to be true to you, regardless of what others think. If you feel drawn to something, pay attention to that. You higher self, soul, inner being is your guide. Your soul stirrings are for YOU, to see which path to take. Don't worry about others paths, that is theirs, keep your eyes on the road. BE YOU! Write your bliss list, make a vision board. What are you waiting for?
Friday, December 2, 2011
You got this, Girl!
I was on the treadmill yesterday and I was thinking about how excited I am about my life. I am going to be choosing a cover design for my book this weekend. I'm doing it! I live consciously, training myself to think positively and keep my vibrations high. I have no room for doubt, if I want to live the life I see myself living. Can I speak on stage? Hell yeah! Can I write more delicious fiction? Sure can! Do I have distinct outlook that would make a great self-improvement book? Of course. If you think that there is nothing special about you, or that there are so many writers out there, why bother...you have sealed your fate. You gotta go for it. Even if you don't know exactly what that is, dwell in the possibilities and daydream about what you LOVE. There are little signs and nudges you'll get from the Universe. I don't know exactly know if it was my inner being/soul, talking to Jennylicious, or vice versa. But we all talk to ourselves internally, just by our train of thinking. If you vocalized what you thought, you may see a subconscious pattern. You can always start telling yourself nice things, which is why I will share what I told myself. It went like this:
You got this, Girl. Success is knockin' at your door and you are ready. You have what it takes. You're a rockstar! You just gotta be true to you and stay centered. You really can't care what anyone thinks, good or bad, or else you won't be at your full potential. Stay in your zone, create from there and others will be inspired. If you go in their zone, you get mixed up in their opinions. Come on, you feel it. You know you are special and it's time to shine, showing others how they can do it to. Just keep loving yourself. You know you are good enough and worthy. You've done the work, you studied the Law of Attraction, you've let go of limited beliefs, you have made your high-good-fab-vibes your life. You created a new you, every day, perfecting your thinking and attitude. This is gonna be awesome! You are going to rock this! It's gonna be fun! Thank you, Universe. I just love you. Thank you me, my beautiful family, my parents, sister, friends, trees, life, chocolate, Christmas... I can't even remember what else because I was caught up in the moment. Appreciation is powerful. (I love a good pep talk-YAY me!) * Why not try it yourself?
So naysayers, haters, doubters, pessimists, need not bother...I believe in me and that is all that every matters. And people love and cheer me on anyway. It's just sometimes people mean well, they just don't want you to aim for the sky, sitting your bar high, dreaming big. Anyone who has achieved big things has started with an idea, a thought, a concept that was not real yet. It was not born yet, it had to be created. I do not believe in luck. We attract what we expect. If we embody success, prosperity, creativity, confidence, WATCH OUT WORLD! Tip: You can always talk yourself out of fear or doubt. You do not have to believe every random thought that comes in your head.
I could write every minute, of every day, but get nowhere. What it takes, on a thinking level, is a positive attitude. Check! Step by step, everyday, I am closer to my goals, BUT I live in the now. Love right now to make your future bright. Start listing what you like bout life, even the littlest things. Your outlook will transform and you will see things differently. GO YOU!
You got this, Girl. Success is knockin' at your door and you are ready. You have what it takes. You're a rockstar! You just gotta be true to you and stay centered. You really can't care what anyone thinks, good or bad, or else you won't be at your full potential. Stay in your zone, create from there and others will be inspired. If you go in their zone, you get mixed up in their opinions. Come on, you feel it. You know you are special and it's time to shine, showing others how they can do it to. Just keep loving yourself. You know you are good enough and worthy. You've done the work, you studied the Law of Attraction, you've let go of limited beliefs, you have made your high-good-fab-vibes your life. You created a new you, every day, perfecting your thinking and attitude. This is gonna be awesome! You are going to rock this! It's gonna be fun! Thank you, Universe. I just love you. Thank you me, my beautiful family, my parents, sister, friends, trees, life, chocolate, Christmas... I can't even remember what else because I was caught up in the moment. Appreciation is powerful. (I love a good pep talk-YAY me!) * Why not try it yourself?
So naysayers, haters, doubters, pessimists, need not bother...I believe in me and that is all that every matters. And people love and cheer me on anyway. It's just sometimes people mean well, they just don't want you to aim for the sky, sitting your bar high, dreaming big. Anyone who has achieved big things has started with an idea, a thought, a concept that was not real yet. It was not born yet, it had to be created. I do not believe in luck. We attract what we expect. If we embody success, prosperity, creativity, confidence, WATCH OUT WORLD! Tip: You can always talk yourself out of fear or doubt. You do not have to believe every random thought that comes in your head.
I could write every minute, of every day, but get nowhere. What it takes, on a thinking level, is a positive attitude. Check! Step by step, everyday, I am closer to my goals, BUT I live in the now. Love right now to make your future bright. Start listing what you like bout life, even the littlest things. Your outlook will transform and you will see things differently. GO YOU!
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