Friday, January 14, 2011

The "Validators"- a new kind of superhero!

I use to live in such a state of self-doubt, it's amazing that I could function.  I needed validation to quiet my inner demons.  Not really demons-that would be creepy.  I always doubted whether I was good enough, in some way or doing a good job,and that I was OK.  I would ask my husband, sister, mother, or friends if I looked okay, am I too fat, a good mom, good person-whatever the flavor of the month that I was obsessing about then.  I was always keeping score with myself-good diet day/bad mom day, good friend/bad writer, fat day/but I cleaned day.  I really liked to punish myself on that roller coaster.  The process of writing my novel became yet another place of needing validation.  FYI-It is coming along, getting better as time goes on, and I edit more.  But wherever I turned, I would find more places to doubt myself and my worthiness.  Looking outside myself for validation, comparing myself to other, and people pleasing-in hopes that I would feel good.  If people liked me-that meant something right?  Ugh...I use to drive my mother crazy with that one.  I gave all my power away without meaning to.

 I knew deep down that I had the power within me. Where my soul was-the answers were.  I had read a million books but never really integrated it. The journey has different roads for many and different books but it all leads to the same place.  Some people consult with their angels, guides, their soul, or God-it really doesn't matter.  For me, I liken it to my inner superhero.  Being the goofball I am, one day my sister and I had decided if we were superheros, we would need a cool cape and a theme song.  I say this like we were kids, no really-we were grown-ups.  Well, we pretend to be grown-ups but that's a whole other subject.  I realize my superhero is the"Validator" within, I was always looking for.  We never have to look outside of ourselves, when in doubt, get quiet.  The "Validator" can really be called whatever you want, she/he can have your initial on their chest.  

My "Validator" will keep the "V" for good vibrations, "vive" (live), victory, voluptuous, violet, vivacious-and all those good v words!  She will have a cape that changes with my every whim, yesterday was aqua, today it's leopard with hot pink trim, tomorrow it might be red or just totally sparkly.  My theme song can change-yesterday it was "Don't stop believin" and today it's "Bootylicious", tomorrow it will be probably be "Fireworks" by Katy Perry.  V loves that song!  Her fuel is chocolate and she has no weakness, except if you consider that she has a soft spot in her heart for babies.  She has a kindest voice with Jersey/Philly accent and she is wise beyond measure.  Whenever I have worries, doubts, fears, or any need where I need validation-she is there to tell me it's OK.  You see-she's really me-the way God intended me to be.  We all have the awesome being we were meant to be-inside-past all the drama and hurts, our stories of the past are just that-past.  The past is gone.  If you live in the moment-in today-change what you can and ask your superhero for help.  I like to be silly and keep things fun but I strive really hard and take my life very seriously.  My goal is to be authentic in every moment, letting the real me-shine bright every day and I wish that for everyone.  If someone doesn't like it or appreciate it-that's OK-V will tell me how AWESOME I am. 

It's not living with a big ego, like people think when you would boast about yourself.  It's living from your spirit-your Higher self.  We should honor the good in ourselves, the way we honor the good in others.  Ask your "V" to help you make a list of how awesome you are, so when you feel down-you can remind yourself.  You will see more good in others, by way of the law of attraction, when you look for the good in you.  Some people, like my husband, came to the Earth- born confident.  He is confident in the perfect, balanced, centered way-knowing that he is awesome.  Whatever way you do it, I hope you all realize how awesome YOU are.  Have fun with life, surround yourself with the people that are positive, and SHINE the Light of who you are-it helps everyone.  xoxo

May the force be with you, sparkles included.  ~V

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Mr. & Mrs. Should

My whole life, I "should" myself on a regular basis.  Finding new and interesting ways to beat myself up but playing the should game.  Well, that era is over.  I made a list of my shoulds, which I didn't realize I still had a pretty long list which constantly contradicted itself.  I should be a better wife, mother, daughter.  I should write more, be more spiritual, exercise more, and often course have more balance.  I actually forgot tons of them like I should know better or have all the answers.  What this does is only cause disconnection from my soul.  The only thing I know that is true is that I SHOULD be myself. 

I picture the shoulds as Mr. & Mrs. Should as the perfect people.  They are even better than the Joneses', you have to keep up with the Joneses' but the Shoulds not only have the stuff but they do everything right also.  They play every sport, do every activity, do yoga, volunteer for everything (I don't think they sleep), read everything, know everything, and they never worry.  Their kids get perfect grades, manners, and trophies fill their rooms.  Mr. Should is the a sports coach, church leader, and businessman who never gets mad.  He is handsome, of course.  Mrs. Should is thin, pretty, nice and her house is completely organized.  All of her kid's picture are scrapbooked perfectly.  She has a successful business, cooks like a chef, and has written a book on how to be a vixen in the bedroom.  They have game nights at their house, they are very funny, and build houses for the the homeless.  They grow their own stinking vegetables and they sing songs in perfect pitch while they garden.  Funny thing is...we all know people that are a tiny bit like this.  They are just part of the diversity in the world, making it more interesting.   

Everyone is so different and we can never compare ourselves or our personal journeys to one another.  This is so diempowering, it's like making a little prison inside of ourselves.  In reality, you are free to think whatever you want.  Thinking about what you should do, in normal circumstances-is fine, it's when it makes you feel bad.  There are so many things we do right that we never give ourselves credit for. You can take responsibility for your own happiness by making changes internally first before you make changes on the outside.  I love to hear people tips along the way.  I suggest you make a should list if you feel overwhelmed in any way.  

Making a should list is so freeing, like a weight lifting off my shoulders.  I burned the paper as a ritual to release the old energy.  You can rip it up into tiny pieces or whatever you like, but never read it agin.  It's useless.  Every should can be turned into a could.  I happy, be myself, let my light shine.

  Free yourself to BE yourself, your authentically true self.  Wishing you all the best!!! 


Friday, January 7, 2011

Merging polarity

I use to be scared of my own shadow, literally and figuratively, because we all have a  shadow side.  I was scared of being judged, being safe, not being loved and accepted-all this fear junk.  I acted out of this place, living with my heart wounded and closed, at times, but I created it.  My past feels like another life now, when I was younger and struggled in my life.  In my adulthood though, not many could see this, I was good at putting on a show.  I don't dwell on this, so I see it all as part of my journey to this beautiful place.  Up until recently, I would in theory, believe, we are all one-we are all part of Source.  In reality, I was afraid of others, of my so called "darker" or "lower" parts of me.  The duality, of being on a diet or not, fat or thin, rich or poor, smart or dumb, on track or off, spiritual or unaware, good or's all there.

Along my journey to finding myself, I am striving to live authentically, walking my talk, as much as I can.  If I slip up-I forgive myself and move on.  I am human, after all.  I am setting intentions and creating my experience- right, so what do I want to feel- peace, love, and joy inside.  Anything that is a match to that, I will attract to me.  I let go of the worry that I will attract the "bad" or "evil" into my experience.  I believe I am always protected but don't need protection because we are all one-I send love out into humanity, the Earth, Universe, all that is.  I share what I feel, so that someone may learn or get some piece for it for them.  Opening our hearts to share what we have learned, from a heart centered place, is one of  gifts to share with humanity.  We are all teachers and all students.   I learn everyday from someone, whether they realize it or not.

We all have something, annoying or considered negative, like you are quiet and someone doesn't like that.  We are all so different, we are all perfect though.  As an observer, we see that when people do the things that do annoy u, there is something for us to learn.  If we are conscious of our lives, we see so much more.   I usually try to see, if someone does or says something I don't like-if I have done that before to someone.  Working in our growth can see tough but when we see improvement, feel good.  It doesn't have to be difficult, if we choose to grow with ease.  My intention is for the Universe to show me what I need to hear, see, know, integrate, process with ease.   Sometimes, our lessons will show up from a story we hear in the news, of all places.

I found the irony and duality of it all, mirrored to me yesterday.  There was a homeless man on TV, who was discovered for have a golden voice yesterday.  Later on the internet, it was posted he had a checkered past, who doesn't-lol, and then the posted his prior mugshots from drugs and so forth.  So now, he'll be famous for his voice.  I thought about all the people who have become famous from their voice, singers and rockstars, who had turned to drugs and alcohol.  People still think the homeless man is lower than the Whitney Houston's of the world, class and worth-wise.  We are all the judgment, the bad choices, the famous, the homeless, I accept this for myself.  I cannot be in the fear of people I deem to be lower and still be vibrating love.  I can accept that it  I see the good in the world and others and send love to all.  I open my heart wide and trust the Universe and trust that all is how it should be.

I am merging-the me(my persona) I know, the observer, my higher self, and the I AM presence(God).  This is my vision that I am stepping into, I wish all of you to see your vision clear and that you can walk the path of love-letting your vision become your reality.  :)

Monday, January 3, 2011


There's nothing like falling in love.  Remember back when you were seventeen, carefree, and your romances were EPIC!   Butterflies in your stomach just thinking about someone you liked.  Experiences were in technicolor and felt monumentous.  Or maybe it was when you were twenty two, but either way, it was magical.  Just driving around was an adventure and going to a party felt like the event of the century.  You were in love with life.  Time stood still and everything in the world felt right.  All your cares fade away and in one moment, a whole lifetime was filled.

For me, having a baby is like falling in love, experiencing love that is indescribable.  You understand what love means, what life means, it all shifts.  It's overwhelming to realize you have opened yourself up so much, you are vulnerable to being hurt deeply...but you can't help yourself.  You watch your baby grow up and they don't love you less, they just need you less.   They move out.  I cannot imagine this part-but I'll be wiser when it happens-to deal with it.)  You can see it as just change, not a loss of what was, but rather a new relationship with the same person who use to need you and thought you were the center of the Universe.  When the kids grow up, you are left with you. Your realize your life was always about you, all along. The journey was about falling in love...with yourself. 

You see, we fall in love, eventually the other person gets busy doing something and life happens, we cannot hold the stars in our eyes for someone forever.  This is OK.  Life makes us forget to live in the moment.  We were never meant to only feel good about ourselves through someone else's eyes.  It is really our connection to our soul and God that really nourishes us, without that we can never really love another.  When our hearts get broken, we wish we never loved in the first place.  The truth is everyone who has ever been in your life was a piece to your puzzle or they never would have been there in the first place.  People show us who we are through them.  People are our mirrors.  We learn through everyone, we learn about ourselves.  Relationships make us grow, every single one can bring you feelings of joy, love, fun and anger, sadness, disappointment. 

 We may find through on our love journey, that we avoided certain aspects of ourselves that we didn't like.  No one likes to feel uncomfortable so we distract ourselves by blaming others, judgments, and even not being present.  Beating yourself up doesn't work, you force yourself to change but it doesn't last.  In actuality, embracing ALL of who we are is the key to falling in love with ourselves and life for that matter.  The high that we felt from falling in love and being young and carefree may be gone but you can live in the NOW again.  You can fall in love again...with life...with yourself.  When you can observe your life, you can find that what you want to feel and you can change things.  

Being young and in love, was about feeling enthusiasm and freedom.  You had a zest for new experiences, no fear, you didn't care what people thought. You felt entitled to enjoy the richness of life.  Pleasure wasn't a bad thing!  Joy and passion ruled the day! Back to reality of today-you can fall in love with a new person every month or  living on the edge, jumping out of airplanes-totally in the NOW.  You don't even have to change jobs, partners, or where you live-you can change your thoughts.  Perception is everything, decide how you want to live.  You can genuinely be present in your everyday experiences, choosing to live an extraordinary life each day. 

It's nearing sunset, you're driving along in your car listening to music and you can:
A. Think about what someone said that pissed you off...People are always mean things to me. (victim mode)
B.  What you have to do...I never have enough time.(victim mode)
C. Look at the sky, feel the music, appreciate life-in-that-very-moment, energized and relaxed...I am grateful for so many things. (Joyful perception)*Like attracts like, so whatever you are thinking about or focusing on-you attract the same.

 If you think you can't be positive or think optimistically, well you already decided you can't, but everyone can change their mind.  Change your thoughts, change your perception, change your life-you can love your life.  It always comes back to love.  Surround yourself with what you love, find more things to love, and see love all around.  I love the ocean, I see the vast, infinite, beauty connecting me with everything in the Universe.  I cherish every moment there and that's why I live by the sea.  I love watching sunsets over the bay, in those timeless moments-I feel free and young and blessed.  I will never get sick of seeing the sunset, every day, I marvel at it.  I am a lover of life.    To fall in love and experience love, you must love.  Fall in love every day with something or back in love-remember how much you use to love something and think back to it it, appreciate it again.  Love, love, love lots and you will are in love, with yourself, life and LOVE.  Love is all there is.