Friday, January 14, 2011

The "Validators"- a new kind of superhero!

I use to live in such a state of self-doubt, it's amazing that I could function.  I needed validation to quiet my inner demons.  Not really demons-that would be creepy.  I always doubted whether I was good enough, in some way or doing a good job,and that I was OK.  I would ask my husband, sister, mother, or friends if I looked okay, am I too fat, a good mom, good person-whatever the flavor of the month that I was obsessing about then.  I was always keeping score with myself-good diet day/bad mom day, good friend/bad writer, fat day/but I cleaned day.  I really liked to punish myself on that roller coaster.  The process of writing my novel became yet another place of needing validation.  FYI-It is coming along, getting better as time goes on, and I edit more.  But wherever I turned, I would find more places to doubt myself and my worthiness.  Looking outside myself for validation, comparing myself to other, and people pleasing-in hopes that I would feel good.  If people liked me-that meant something right?  Ugh...I use to drive my mother crazy with that one.  I gave all my power away without meaning to.

 I knew deep down that I had the power within me. Where my soul was-the answers were.  I had read a million books but never really integrated it. The journey has different roads for many and different books but it all leads to the same place.  Some people consult with their angels, guides, their soul, or God-it really doesn't matter.  For me, I liken it to my inner superhero.  Being the goofball I am, one day my sister and I had decided if we were superheros, we would need a cool cape and a theme song.  I say this like we were kids, no really-we were grown-ups.  Well, we pretend to be grown-ups but that's a whole other subject.  I realize my superhero is the"Validator" within, I was always looking for.  We never have to look outside of ourselves, when in doubt, get quiet.  The "Validator" can really be called whatever you want, she/he can have your initial on their chest.  

My "Validator" will keep the "V" for good vibrations, "vive" (live), victory, voluptuous, violet, vivacious-and all those good v words!  She will have a cape that changes with my every whim, yesterday was aqua, today it's leopard with hot pink trim, tomorrow it might be red or just totally sparkly.  My theme song can change-yesterday it was "Don't stop believin" and today it's "Bootylicious", tomorrow it will be probably be "Fireworks" by Katy Perry.  V loves that song!  Her fuel is chocolate and she has no weakness, except if you consider that she has a soft spot in her heart for babies.  She has a kindest voice with Jersey/Philly accent and she is wise beyond measure.  Whenever I have worries, doubts, fears, or any need where I need validation-she is there to tell me it's OK.  You see-she's really me-the way God intended me to be.  We all have the awesome being we were meant to be-inside-past all the drama and hurts, our stories of the past are just that-past.  The past is gone.  If you live in the moment-in today-change what you can and ask your superhero for help.  I like to be silly and keep things fun but I strive really hard and take my life very seriously.  My goal is to be authentic in every moment, letting the real me-shine bright every day and I wish that for everyone.  If someone doesn't like it or appreciate it-that's OK-V will tell me how AWESOME I am. 

It's not living with a big ego, like people think when you would boast about yourself.  It's living from your spirit-your Higher self.  We should honor the good in ourselves, the way we honor the good in others.  Ask your "V" to help you make a list of how awesome you are, so when you feel down-you can remind yourself.  You will see more good in others, by way of the law of attraction, when you look for the good in you.  Some people, like my husband, came to the Earth- born confident.  He is confident in the perfect, balanced, centered way-knowing that he is awesome.  Whatever way you do it, I hope you all realize how awesome YOU are.  Have fun with life, surround yourself with the people that are positive, and SHINE the Light of who you are-it helps everyone.  xoxo

May the force be with you, sparkles included.  ~V

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