Sunday, October 30, 2011

What do you want?

Like the Spice Girls song goes, "So tell me whatcha want, what you really, really want....?"  I have always observed myself, which drove me mad for many years.  But being aware of your thoughts, holds the key.  When you really ask yourself what you want, it opens up the energy.  People say, I want to be rich or thin, those are external things.  They can bring you happiness, but it is said whether someone wins the lottery or is paralyzed, they go back to their natural happiness level eventually. This makes total sense because happiness is a state of mind.  Often we focus on what we don't want, rather than what we do want.  Saying that I want others to treat me better, or be nicer, gives all your power away.  And really, are you always to them, if you are talking behind their back, about how mean they are.  They are showing up how you think they will.  How often do you generalize, saying they are always mean to me.  I caught myself doing that with my teenage daughter, saying you always or you never.  I apologized and said that I would not generalize like that.  Relationships have the power to teach us about ourselves.  I would say that I wanted peace in our home but then if someone acted a way that I did not like, I didn't let it go right away.  That was all ego-I need to be right-I am a victim.  Peace has to trump ego's needs.  When you decide you make your own happiness, you don't play victim, and if you catch yourself doing STOP. 

If you have the power to create the life you want, which you do, what would it look like?  What do you want?  I want to be rich!  Well, me, I'm already rich.  Feel what that feels like to say that, "I AM RICH!"  To someone, you already are.  But what would that make you feel, because it is all about what you want to feel.  For some, it may be security, to me it means freedom.  I love picturing myself jetting off somewhere, buying sparkly things, and helping people in many ways.  It would be FUN.  Fun & Freedom is what it means to me.  If you are doing it to impress others or anything like that, it is about feeling good about yourself.  I love seeing how our thinking can shift.  We can shift our thinking, perspective, and focus on different things.  This changes everything.  You can't be afraid to look within.  you are a beautiful being, without all the ego crap.  Let that real YOU out, let him/her shine. 

In asking yourself, "WHAT DO I WANT?"
1.  I want more fun-so then so more fun things.  If you intend to have fun and allow yourself to jump at the opportunities, and enjoy it, the Universe will yield to that.  But ask, am I a fun person, maybe you need to lighten up.  Start by dancing around your house.  ;)

2.  I want a great relationship.  This applies whether you are in one or not.  Focus on your happiness, no one else can give you that.  If single-Enjoy your life, talk about people that have good relationships, and make a list of what kind of person you would like (go general).  If in relationship you would like to improve-talk about what you like about your partner, let go of the past (start fresh), be nice to them, and make yourself happy.  It sounds simple but when relationship are rocky, past dramas get brought up and the energy is yucky. 

3.  I want to be thinner, have a better body.  Now, ask why do you want that?  So others will think you are desirable, sexy, whatever.  You are enough, you are worthy, you are wanted.  Own that first. If your motives are about others, you give your power away and it will never be enough.  You will never be filled up enough by others.  If you want to feel better about you, for yourself, start loving yourself NOW.  Talk nice to yourself, post affirmations everywhere, and honor your body.  You body is an freaking, amazing, miraculous creation.  And stop the judgement of yourself and others, just let it go when it pops up. 

There are many more examples I could use but the point it, it's about thoughts and feelings and you have the power to change.  Having studied the Law of Attraction and implemented it in my life, doesn't mean you are like a Stepford wife.  I promise, you can still curse and drink wine. When you do start thinking differently, being the majority of your thoughts being positive, you attract more good thoughts.  Isn't that cool?  It means your head is in the clouds with rose-colored sunglasses on, looking at the bright side, drinking from a glass half full.  Why wait and be happy later?  When this, or that shows up, or goes away, or changes.  To me, drama is stressful, to some it's exciting, where as being like me would be boring.  Inner peace is bliss and anything but boring.  You may still get annoyed, but it's the way you handle it, you don't dwell on it, or EVER live in the past. It's all about energy, baby!  What energy are you putting out there, playing in, and vibrating.  And biggest thing I want to remind you is, you cannot worry about what others will think.  That is a life not lived.  Be bold in who you are, even if that is a quiet book worm.  Live YOUR life!  I wish all of all all your heart's desires!!!

P.S.  (as in Pretty Sexy-lol)  If any of you are interested in changing you life, check out Oprah's Life class.  It validates a lot for me and I've a gotten a few gems.  I don't have to agree with everything either but positive TV rocks! 

P.P.S.  (Perfect Priceless Self-ahh yeah)  If you want success, in business, it can be epic and rewarding, but it can't define you.  You are an infinite being (soul), in a body, you are not a job title or label.  That puts you in a box and then when you are not that, then you lose you you thought you were.  Be fabulous!  Lovies!

Exercise rap!

Time to get movin’
Let’s start groovin’

I love to exercise,
Cause I love my thighs

Ain’t nothing wrong
with lovin’ being strong

No room to be a meek mouse
I’m a powerhouse

I’m legit a stone cold fox,
My self-esteem harder to crack than Fort Knox

I’m the Happy Workout Queen,
And I’m toned and lean,

Livin’ my dream,
So watch me gleam

It’s always how you feel,
That’s the real deal

Good thoughts you choose,
Weight you will surely lose

It’s time to rise
Stretch, move, & exercise

No matter what your size
You’re always the grand prize

You can take the plunge,
Start with a lunge

Wake up from the slumber,
It’s not about the number

Turn on some hip sounds,
Lettin’ go of excess pounds

Find some space,
And rock the place

Set your pace,
And run your own race

Stop being moody,
And shake that booty

Leave your comfort zone,
Build up your muscle tone

I’m here to say
Fun is the way

It’s what it’s all about,
Now get in that workout

I want to inspire,
And light the fire

It’s pure and simple,
as a baby’s little dimple

I’m the Happy Workout Queen,
I’m toned and lean,

Livin’ my dream,
So watch me gleam

It’s always how you feel,
That’s the real deal

Good thoughts you choose,
Weight you will surely lose

Appreciate your health,
Because it’s true wealth

Affirm:  I’m getting thinner,
And I’m always a winner

Monday, October 17, 2011

What a weekend!

It was a whirlwind weekend. I had an extraordinary few days.  I love to share what I learn and writing is one of my passions, so win-win.  It was a roller coaster, for sure.  Now, it's Monday night and I'm having a martini made by me and my husband. Steeped blackberries & blueberries in water, blended and Raspberry vodka, with a touch of agave nectar.  Martini Monday, YAY! I'll call it a 3-Berry Perrytini. 

Friday was my Aunt's funeral.  I wanted to first honor my Aunt Ber, my dad's oldest sister.  She was a wonderful woman who loved her children unconditionally.  She had shown a great example of that for all in our family.  I was sending all my love to my cousins who have lost both their parents now.  My aunt really was never the same after her beloved husband died.  I knew she was at peace with him now.  She passed on the same day that my grandmother did, fourteen years earlier.  That reminds us, they were still connected.  I felt the best way to honor her is to celebrate her life and to fully live my own.  I told my cousins that even she left too soon for us, she had so much love in her life.  They knew she had loved them and she knew that they all had loved her. 

I was asked to read the eulogy.  My intention was that her children would find some peace and comfort as I read it.  What they wrote was beautiful.  I felt her love in the church.  I was so nervous that I had waves of fear wash over me from drive there until I finished reading it.  My husband reminded me that morning, that I had to get use to public speaking for when I would speak about my book.  But anxiety kept following me, all the way up the highway to the funeral.  I cleared the energy, every time it came up, and felt centered again.  I wanted to be a beacon of Light, in keeping my energy and vibration, high, clear, and pure.  I wanted everyone there to feel my aunt's appreciation and love for them.  She is is all of their hearts.  In the past, when people passed, I would feel fear about everything.  I would think of losing my loved ones and go into sorrow.  This did not serve me.  My outlook is so different nowadays, knowing that fearing things doesn't prevent them or make you more prepared.  It makes you live in fear.  Instead, I live in the now.  I live in the moment, today, loving everyone and everything, including myself fully.  The legacy my aunt left was of love and family.  You cannot dwell on the loss, but rather on the love. I love you, Aunt Ber and I'll miss your great hugs and encouragement.  You always made me feel special and loved. 

On Saturday, my daughter, McKayla was in the Junior Miss Ocean City pageant and let me start by saying...I was not a mother that started their kids as a little peanut with the fake tans and all that.  I don't judge but that's just not me.  She decided to do a pageant at twelve and she has been in four to date.  She has made great friendships and had lot so of fun.  A lot of hard work on her part go into it.  My darling mother has become her sugar-pageant-mama helping her all along the way.  At every pageant, I could throw up, I am so nervous it's ridiculous.  It is what Moms do, we support our kids in what they like, not what we choose for them. 

It started out great at Abella's Salon in the morning.  She had her hair done, exactly how she wanted.  The stylist was a friend of ours sister and we didn't even plan it.  Her makeup was perfect and she walked out on Cloud Nine.  We came home, in time for her to put on her interview dress.  The interview earlier in the day accounts for thirty-some percent of the total.  No pressure there.  She tried on the dress and the pockets didn't lay right.  I felt like it wasn't a great fit when she first got it, but didn't say anything.  It was fifteen minutes before we had to leave and I was trying to sew the pockets shut.  Running out of time, I told her that I would cut the pockets and she agrees.  I think I had been watching too much Project Runway.  When she sat down, you could see where the holes for the pockets use to be and her skin was showing.  Full on panic mode.  We were racing around her room, yelling, trying to find a replacement.  Luckily, she's a well-dressed girl and we found something.  She wasn't happy, it rocked her confidence and she felt I was responsible.  The drive there was dramatic and stressful, as I tried to make things better.  I still had faith that she would do great.  She looked beautiful and possessed a dynamic personality. I wouldn't see her until the pageant started, five fours later. 

I left in a tither.  I pulled up to the house and she called me.  Her interview was already over.  She didn't think she did well but she was in good spirits.  It was her life and she had to make it her own, learning her own lessons to find her own way.  I went inside and decided that I was going to hold the space for her in my mind, as doing really well.  She wanted to win, but getting an award or being a runner up would be great.  I knew her talent routine was stellar and her dress was a show stopper.  I spiffed up the whole family to go support her.  I stuffed my pocketbook with treats for my littlest guy. 

All the Moms at the pageant hold their breath when their daughters were performing, answering their on-stage question, and walking down the runway.  I wanted all of the girls to do well and rooted for them.  If it was up to me, everyone would win, but that's just me.  These girls, ranging from twelve to fifteen knocked your socks off.  They mesmerized you with their talent, poise, grace, beauty, and overall awesomeness.  I chose to chill my nerves often, by breathing deep, although a glass of wine would have been perfect.  I really didn't know who would win because they were that good.  I admired their bravery for one.  I didn't have one iota of that confidence at that age.  They could carry that confidence to boardrooms, stages, interviews, and their life.  Watching my daughter on stage amazed me.  She gets more gorgeous everyday.  And she has it all.  I didn't have that kind of confidence at that age, for sure. 

We awaited the final result of the competition.  And fourth place goes to...#14, McKayla Perry.  OMG, that's her!!!  That's my daughter.  YES!!!  She was so happy.  I was so relieved.  Her friend, Kylie Clearkin won.  We were happy for her.  My daughter posed for a picture with her, they are both glowing.  My little guy was sleeping but my ten year old and four year old are gushing over my daughter and so was my Aunt Denise, my Mom, my husband, my sister, her boyfriend, friends, and everyone we knew that passed by.  The car ride home was electric, there was so much excitement floating around.  We didn't get to bed until late.

Sunday morning, my daughter and I were up at sunrise to get on a bus trip with lot of spunky ladies to see a Broadway show.  My mother treated us all to a girls day, my mom, my sister, my daughter, and I. It was magical.  I talked to my sister on the two hour drive there, enjoying all the Autumn leaves.  I got so giddy when we stepped of the bus onto the streets of new York.  Whenever I visit up there, I always feel like a super-happy-damn tourist.  I led everyone to get New York t-shirts I snapping pictures, practically skipping. We walked down a charming street, with trees and old-world charm.   We have a reservation at a fabulous Italian restaurant.  I dined on breaded zucchini appetizer, smoked mozzarella ravioli with creamy pesto, Cabernet Savignon and delightful conversation.  Before you knew it, it was time to go see the drag Queens in Priscilla:  Queen of the Desert.  Even though the city was filled with people, it felt so open.  It's so alive.

My mom bought a fuchsia feather boa and my sister and I had pink margaritas.  The theater was breathtaking.  All the gold on the ceiling, the chandeliers, and richness was timeless.  Frank Sinatra played on that very stage. The show was a sparkle-lovers dream.  That's me.  I was wearing a sequined t-shirt, just for the occasion.  It had it all, Drag Queens, phenomenal performers, fun music, every color of the rainbow, bright lights, racy jokes, touching moments, bare men's tushes, and a real message of acceptance.  The two hours flew by, leaving you wanting just one more sparkly person singing and dancing to a song.  It was one of those days, where you committed it to the memory book in your heart.  We drove back in the bus and I couldn't wait to see my boys and my husband.  I love my life.

Those three days felt like it encompassed the highs and lows of life.  Go with the flow, the ebb and flow.  You can't live in the past.  You will miss out on the present, which is a gift.  Consciously be present with yourself and everyone you love, because every moment is fleeting.   It reminded me that I love my life, to the max.  I have dreams and aspirations.  I learn, grow, and expand everyday.  I release what doesn't work anymore and find out who I am, in the process.  My true essence is revealed more everyday as I let myself shine.  My wish is for all of you is that you love yourself, find what makes you happy, and enjoy your life.  Enjoy the ride and have fun on the journey.


Fabulous Fitness!

The reason why having a personal trainer really helps people get in shape, is that they tell you that if you follow their advice, you will achieve your goal and that YOU CAN DO IT!  There are many people that follow diets and work out, where it doesn't change anything because inside their thinking is doesn't match.  I am going to make a short video soon that is going to be a PEP talk.  I always responded to pep talks, lifting your spirits is always the best way to get started.  There are two options that shift your thinking, so that your physical results will be optimal. 

1.  LOSING.  You can focus on the losing weight part.  Visualizing the excess weight falling away, as baggage that no longer serves you.  You past, fear, doubts, whatever you are letting go of so that your body and spirit is lighter.  Write down what the weight symbolizes on a piece of paper and throw it away, rip it up, or burn it. I find this works best for people that are eating to suppress emotions or to feel better. Affirm:  I am getting lighter and shining brighter. I am getting thinner and I am a winner.

2.  WINNING.  You can focus on what you are winning in the process.  During your fitness journey, you reveal a new body, and you must allow your thoughts to change in order for results to last.  What are you getting out of it.  For some, they are worried about eating to much or not exercising enough, and feeling like they are sacrificing too much, by not eating what they like or busting their butt doing hard workouts.  Shift perspective to the winning aspect.  You can list what you are winning on a piece of paper and post it so you can stay motivated.  This is what I am doing and I love seeing my body build muscle, become more flexible, and finding more endurance.  Affirm:  I am strong, flexible, and sexy.  I have lots of endurance, grace, and energy. 
~WINNING more (examples)
1. Healthy cells
2.  Muscle tone
3.  Endurance
4. Self-esteem
5.  Flexibility
6.  Energy
7.  Good energy/feelings (endorphins)
8.  Sex appeal (this is because you are feeling better)

What makes you feel good is the best for you.  Feeling healthy and alive ROCKS!  Make sure you are having fun, remember dancing is great cardio.  Trust your body, take it cues, and figure out what it likes.  Yoga, cardio, walking, weight-training, running, Pilates, Zumba, and whatever other exercise ALL works. Don't ever beat yourself up for not being a runner or that you are not coordinated for aerobics.  Variety is the spice of life and everyday they will come up with new things to try.  Isn't that awesome?  We'll never get bored.  Try walking and then lifting some weights, super-charging your life with positive affirmations.  If you change your body, but don't change your inner dialogue, you will never be thin enough/satisfied/happy.  Talk nice to yourself and you will love your body.  I am cheering you ALL on!!!

Energy of

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Autumn awe

I love Autumn, with the rich and vibrant colors.  Especially's everywhere. Orange galore!  Seeing all the mums, pumpkins, and monarch butterflies makes me feel so damn happy.  Monarch butterflies are migrating South and we have the delight of seeing them pass on by.  It's quite magical to see so many of them.  I had the pleasure of seeing one up close and it has a back body with white polka dots on it.   How fashionable.  I think they were attracted to my red hair.  They symbolically remind me, I am free and can soar as high as I let myself.  The caterpillar phase ends when we decide to live our lives on purpose, intentionally, and consciously in a positive way.

Acting like a kid, comes easy to me, which means I LOVE HALLOWEEN!  Any excuse to play dress-up and wear lots of makeup.  My husband goes nuts every year with his costume and even the decorations.   Of course, I had to add some sparkle.  I actually bought five glitter skeletons: green, magenta, orange, silver, black.  I love the festive vibe of holidays.  There is always yummy food and tons of fun, and with Halloween...lots of candy.  I am really a summer girl but you have to embrace the changes and go with the flow, so I welcome each new season.  Finding things I love about the Fall, makes me find more things to love about Fall.  Don't you love how the Law of Attraction works.

Crisp, cool evenings make great sleeping weather.  The leaves are starting to change and soon they will be ablaze in fiery, passionate hues.  This weekend, I will be taking the kids to the pumpkin patch.   The kids love picking their own pumpkins and getting lost in the corn maze.  I really love pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin spice latte, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin ravioli, and whatever else they can come up with pumpkin. And I love calling people Pumpkin and Pumpkin Pie!!!  Ahh...feeling so much appreciation.  Life is so delicious, especially with all of you in it!!! :)

P.S.  I think I should make some Butternut Squash soup.  Delish!