Saturday, January 21, 2012

C what I'm talkin' about!

I learn a lot from my children.  I learn about myself in parenting them.  I am blessed to have four kids, who keep me on my toes, and being me lots of joy.  I have one daughter, McKayla, a fourteen year old, in her first year of high school.  I have three sons, Aidan (10-5th grade), Finnegan (almost 5-preschool) and Seamus (2 yrs old today).  I deal with different personalities and different ages, which all have their awesome parts and their...well, their opportunities for me to grow.  I cannot control any of them, nor would I want to, except when they are bad.  LOL!  I see those places where I get frustrated and want to control, as a way for me to really let go.  It really changes your state of mind.  I wanted to share some of what I've been learning and realizing for myself.  The Crappy  C's and the Cool C's.

Crappy C's

Compare:  Never compare yourself to others.  It's a dumb game that you will lose to someone, in some area.  I want my kids to learn that you really are running your OWN race, not against someone else. my twenties, I compared myself to every other mother.  This is the biggest energy drain.  Just do YOU, do YOU good, and leave everyone else out of it.  When you really work on loving yourself, you value yourself more, and don't need to make others, better or worse, than you.  You realize you are free, to be you, and they are free, to be them. 

Compete:  When you are focused on how well someone else is doing, it may momentarily give you a boost to get your butt in gear, but then what...they go ahead of you, or someone else now is, and then you are back to square one.  Let yourself shine, in your own way, doing your best and you will be happy because you are enjoying YOUR journey.  I really do wish everyone well and that they have success, there is plenty to go around.  I want my kids to realize that compare & compete are an evil duo, not to be messed with.

Control:  My kids are so good at providing me with material to learn this one.  Whether it is them, not listening/attitude/being kids, or your neighbor, brother, partner, friend, whoever, you CANNOT control anyone.  When you are trying to force it, see what happens, when you let go.  One of my sanity savers is sending Light & Love to whoever and it centers me.  If I act like an ass and yell, I remind myself, that while that yields immediate results, in the process I felt bad.  So what do I feel good, or control/get my way/let others have the key to my happiness. 

Complain:  Where you ever listening to someone complain and thinking, I wish they would shut the hell up.  Well, that's what you sound like you complain.  It doesn't solve anything.  Maybe for some, they get people to change behaviors, but going about it in a positive way, makes you feel a heck of a lot better, in the process.  And if you observe people, you will see the Law of Attraction at work, in that if they constantly complain, they attract more to complain about.  I have heard people complain about things, that I thought were good, it's all perspective.  Like grocery shopping, I love having a variety to choose from and the money to pay for them.  That makes it a totally different experience for me.  It's the same with exercise and cooking, you can find they joy, cause why live on minute of your life, not trying to make the best of it. 

Cool C's (Could be called Conscious C's also)

Cultivate:  Create new way of thinking, more positive thoughts and lots of appreciation.  New habits like meditation (one of the best things I ever did), a gratitude journal, and there are a million books of self-help, positive thinking, spirituality that can really change your life.  Even if you replace some TV shows with funnier ones or really a juicy novel, or whatever brings you joy at the end of your day.  Remember you can change your life by cultivating a new version of it.  In my upbeat attitude, I show my kids how to cultivate a way of life.

Choose:  We have many choices we take for granted.  We get to choose what we eat, what we wear, what we read, watch on TV, who we hang out with, and what we think.  Be choosy about your thoughts,  Don't let a bunch of negative garbage play on a constant loop in your head.  OK, so your boss is an ass, change jobs or change your attitude about him.  You get to choose how you think, and if you don't like your negative thinking, cause you realize it's not working anymore, than you can choose to think positively.  I teach my kids, that each one of us, can always choose differently, in each moment.  And if you mess up, there is always next time. 

Clarity:  With each interaction we have, everything we see, read, hear we make judgements.  We don't have to judge them as good or bad, but by rather if it feels good to us, resonates with us, works for us.  We gain clarity everyday.  I like that, I'd like more of that, I LOVE that!  When we can detach a little and not take everything personally, we can see things much clearer.  For me, clarity is not about figuring out everything, but a vibrational, spiritual, energy thing.  When something makes my heart sing, touches my soul, and opens my mind more I gain so much clarity.  I teach my kids that they make up their own minds and that it is up to each one of us, to decide what we believe.  I can't give them or anyone clarity, I wouldn't wnat to rob them of their joyful journey. 

Care:  Take care of yourself.  Take baths, move your body, eat delicious things, feed your soul with things that delight you.  Care about how you feel about you.  My message is always~LOVE YOURSELF!  And you are so much more loving to everyone, when you have taken care of yourself.  Don't expect yourself to be perfect and get down on yourself.  Always forgive yourself for mistakes, the past is done, and now move forward.  Only dwell on the positive.  Every time I say I love you to my kids, I am building their self-esteem.  I want them to know they are ROCKSTARS.  How I treat myself, is what they learn about how to treat themselves.  So, if you leave dishes in the sink, your playroom doesn't get leaned one day, you forgot it was show-and-tell day at school...oh well.  It is OK.  Feeling guilty is a waste, life is to be lived! 

My goal everyday is to uplift and inspire, especially through my writing and blogging.  I love to spread joy and remind others to love themselves.  I aim to raise my vibration and deepen my connection to God/Source/Universe and have fun!  You get to choose what works for you, isn't that awesome!  Muah to ALL!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hello 2012, into more joy we will delve! *ALERT* Resolutions are not dangerous.

Interesting energy, since January 1st. Lots of info surrounding 2012, and the consensus that I have found, is there is lots of movement and everything is moving faster.  Lots of clearing of the old still, and like a reboot, of sorts.  I will say, for me, I have felt like de-cluttering and letting go of whatever no longer serves me.  I try to focus on the positive, always, but I'm getting nudged to step it up even further.  Which means, sometimes, the old garbage in your mind (old beliefs, things people have said, fears, doubt, anger, shame, insecurities, whatever is not vibrationally a match, to what you want, or who you TRULY really are.)  You may feel like you don't know why things pop up, just know that you can just relax, it's all good.  Let it go.  You may feel like you don't know what you believe anymore, which is GREAT, it brings clarity.  Trust yourself.  You are OK. 

Yesterday, I had lots of feelings come up for me.  I was frustrated bout things and getting angry.  I was trying to observe my thoughts, without getting caught up in them.  I feel for my ego's tricks, got trapped in my own drama, and I was pissed.  I let myself experience it, knowing that I wanted to feel good, not this crap.  I knew my truth wasn't this anymore.  As I was vacuuming, which sounds hilarious to have an insight while vacuuming, I got more clear.  I thought about how mad I use to be, on a daily basis, over lots of things.  Life secretly drove me crazy, along with my kids, people, myself, and the world.  I told myself to relax.  Inner dialogue:  Having a off day is totally OK.  I still am an awesome ROCKSTAR!  I know who I am. Being frustrated often, was what I did in the past.  I had a need for control.  It never worked well.  I always had to fix something about myself.  I thought I would always be flawed.  Oh, I was so mean to me.  And I thought so many things had to happen, in order to be happy. goes: Everyone had to like and approve of me.  LOL!!!  I had be very thin, very rich, smarter, nicer, a perfect mother, daughter, friend, wife, whoever to whoever...blah blah to the blah!  I had so many rules, conditions, in this box that I had put myself in.  WOW!  I am doing pretty damn great NOW!  In the past three year, I have changed so much, more with each year.  I am so happy nowadays, regardless of what goes on around me.  I live on purpose.  Because I know that everything always works out for me.  And good things are always coming my way.  I am so thankful for everything in my life.  Ahh...baring my soul again....relief.  :)       

~If you set intentions, resolutions, or affirmations...whatever feelings are not a match to this, will usually come up for you.  Don't freak out.  Just choose to focus on what you want.  See past your junk.  Example:  If you set a resolution to lose weight:  You may remember things people said to you about your weight, feelings of not being good enough, fear of failure, whatever stands between you and your goal(in your mind.)  Deep breath.  Nothing is wrong.  You are not screwing up.  Breathe in.  Feel the wonder of breathing and being alive, for a moment.  Breathe out those feelings. 

MY BADASS tip, for this new year: BE BOLD.  When you feel confident enough, declare what you want.  You will intuitively know when to walk through the fear and when to wait.  I posted a picture of myself in a bikini, from the polar bear plunge on January 1st.  I love my body.  I love bikinis.  I love looking good in a bikini.  By the time it's swimsuit season, I am going to ROCK that bikini like Victoria's Secret model.  I am toning up and letting go of fifteen pounds, easily and effortless.  I have been fat and I have been thin, but really the only thing I was looking for is to be happy, especially with me.  I'm happy with me.  It's not even that it's a before picture, but rather, this is me. I love me.  That's it.  It's about not caring what others think.  I was chained to that beast, for many years.  It was a prison, in MY mind.  Steps that that led to posting my bikini picture, were to blog, which feels in away like I am naked.  It is BOLD.  It's putting my ideas, words, and thoughts out there to be judged, critiqued, and  of course, loved.  I always hated to be judged, it was one of my greatest fears.  I walk through it.  I also wrote a book, that will be coming out in a few months, for all the world to read.  There is sex and curse words in it, that some will not like, but I do, and it's not a children's book.  What can I say, I like saucy!  If people like my book, great, if not...oh well.  I wrote it, because I love to write.  I have to live my life for me. I make me happy this way. 

I wish you ALL happiness this year.  It's time for us all to shine.  Listen to your inner voice and follow your bliss.  Remember you always have your answers and you are the key to your happiness.  YAY TO A BRAND NEW YEAR!  Fresh start, baby!  Daily!