Interesting energy, since January 1st. Lots of info surrounding 2012, and the consensus that I have found, is there is lots of movement and everything is moving faster. Lots of clearing of the old still, and like a reboot, of sorts. I will say, for me, I have felt like de-cluttering and letting go of whatever no longer serves me. I try to focus on the positive, always, but I'm getting nudged to step it up even further. Which means, sometimes, the old garbage in your mind (old beliefs, things people have said, fears, doubt, anger, shame, insecurities, whatever is not vibrationally a match, to what you want, or who you TRULY really are.) You may feel like you don't know why things pop up, just know that you can just relax, it's all good. Let it go. You may feel like you don't know what you believe anymore, which is GREAT, it brings clarity. Trust yourself. You are OK.
Yesterday, I had lots of feelings come up for me. I was frustrated bout things and getting angry. I was trying to observe my thoughts, without getting caught up in them. I feel for my ego's tricks, got trapped in my own drama, and I was pissed. I let myself experience it, knowing that I wanted to feel good, not this crap. I knew my truth wasn't this anymore. As I was vacuuming, which sounds hilarious to have an insight while vacuuming, I got more clear. I thought about how mad I use to be, on a daily basis, over lots of things. Life secretly drove me crazy, along with my kids, people, myself, and the world. I told myself to relax. Inner dialogue: Having a off day is totally OK. I still am an awesome ROCKSTAR! I know who I am. Being frustrated often, was what I did in the past. I had a need for control. It never worked well. I always had to fix something about myself. I thought I would always be flawed. Oh, I was so mean to me. And I thought so many things had to happen, in order to be happy. LOL...here goes: Everyone had to like and approve of me. LOL!!! I had be very thin, very rich, smarter, nicer, a perfect mother, daughter, friend, wife, whoever to whoever...blah blah to the blah! I had so many rules, conditions, in this box that I had put myself in. WOW! I am doing pretty damn great NOW! In the past three year, I have changed so much, more with each year. I am so happy nowadays, regardless of what goes on around me. I live on purpose. Because I know that everything always works out for me. And good things are always coming my way. I am so thankful for everything in my life. Ahh...baring my soul again....relief. :)
~If you set intentions, resolutions, or affirmations...whatever feelings are not a match to this, will usually come up for you. Don't freak out. Just choose to focus on what you want. See past your junk. Example: If you set a resolution to lose weight: You may remember things people said to you about your weight, feelings of not being good enough, fear of failure, whatever stands between you and your goal(in your mind.) Deep breath. Nothing is wrong. You are not screwing up. Breathe in. Feel the wonder of breathing and being alive, for a moment. Breathe out those feelings.
MY BADASS tip, for this new year: BE BOLD. When you feel confident enough, declare what you want. You will intuitively know when to walk through the fear and when to wait. I posted a picture of myself in a bikini, from the polar bear plunge on January 1st. I love my body. I love bikinis. I love looking good in a bikini. By the time it's swimsuit season, I am going to ROCK that bikini like Victoria's Secret model. I am toning up and letting go of fifteen pounds, easily and effortless. I have been fat and I have been thin, but really the only thing I was looking for is to be happy, especially with me. I'm happy with me. It's not even that it's a before picture, but rather, this is me. I love me. That's it. It's about not caring what others think. I was chained to that beast, for many years. It was a prison, in MY mind. Steps that that led to posting my bikini picture, were to blog, which feels in away like I am naked. It is BOLD. It's putting my ideas, words, and thoughts out there to be judged, critiqued, and of course, loved. I always hated to be judged, it was one of my greatest fears. I walk through it. I also wrote a book, that will be coming out in a few months, for all the world to read. There is sex and curse words in it, that some will not like, but I do, and it's not a children's book. What can I say, I like saucy! If people like my book, great, if not...oh well. I wrote it, because I love to write. I have to live my life for me. I make me happy this way.
I wish you ALL happiness this year. It's time for us all to shine. Listen to your inner voice and follow your bliss. Remember you always have your answers and you are the key to your happiness. YAY TO A BRAND NEW YEAR! Fresh start, baby! Daily!