All of our relationships teach us about ourselves. Our romantic partners, children, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, and our adversaries all bring up and point out our "stuff." Our closest relationships have the potential to really help us grow and become more of who were truly are. Sounds like woo woo to you, that's fine. If everyone in your life pisses you off, pushes your buttons, makes you angry, and you want to feel better...then suspend your old way of thinking for a minute. You see, these triggers are a gift. They don't feel like it, but they can be. These are opportunities to look within and ask yourself lots of questions:
~Why do I get so ANGRY when people don't agree, validate, or make me happy by what they are doing? (Often with our children, coworkers, partners, etc...whatever situations make you really mad.) It's a chance to let go of the need to control others and find peace within ourselves, no matter what someone else is doing.
~When my feelings get HURT from someone not including me, insulting me, or my partner/friend/parent/whoever not giving me enough attention...what is this bringing up for me to heal? (Whatever triggers make you feel wounded is the key here.) Your past feelings from when you were picked last in gym class come up at times like this.
~Whenever you go into the dynamic of blame and victim, stop for a second. Listen to what you are saying and thinking. "They always do this. Everyone does this to me. Whatever I do is never enough for you. You make me so mad. All you ever do is take, take, take. You're so mean to me. You never do it right." Sometimes we have a habit of saying the same things often to people or thinking them. This is a great time to journal or take a piece of paper out to find out what else is going on. You can: A. Write down what you want to feel. What you want, instead of what's going on. B. Write down all the times you can think of where you felt this way. It helps heal, when you deal. C. Write down how you could possibly say, do, or think of the situation or person differently.
Avoiding people and situations can work for a little while, but eventually you'll encounter people...unless you hide away in a hut somewhere, which I certainly did not come here for. I came here to learn, grow, enjoy, teach, and so many other things. What works for me is to be honest with myself. I don't have to necessarily tell they other person they upset me. It can create unnecessary drama. There intention may be good, but you have a negative reaction because it's about YOU. Isn't that awesome! Everyone doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy! This is where my four children give me countless times a day to do my internal work so I can experience more joy. As always, do what works for you. Setting intentions, forgiving, letting go, blessing others, Law of Attraction, self-growth, sending love & light, healing energy, new agey-woo woo stuff continues to change my life. So I'm gonna keep on keepin' on! And remember...No one can "make" you feel bad or mad. What they do or say has no power over you. You are way more powerful that that. You have a choice always. Blessings!
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The perfect mom is off the the hook.
Yeah, there are blogs every day about letting Moms off the hook for being "perfect." Or about women in general, having to be superwoman. The demands to be sexy, smart, organized, creative, peaceful and assertive and all these conflicting, muddy messages. Well, I'm going to weigh in here. I am letting you ALL off the hook...AGAIN. This is written to me also, cause who doesn't need the reminder.
I don't read parenting magazines. I think there are many different ways to parent that are all going to yield some wonderful adults. In theory, this sounds good, right? Until you talk to other parents and find out what they are doing. For me, it goes like this: School is about to start. And dance. And soccer. Oh yes...and then there is that career I'm launching. I am staying in shape too. I guess my 2 1/2 year old will have to take up weight lifting too. All four kids will have to eat dinner every night. In my mind, the thoughts start rolling, like a freight train. I need to get more organized. Successful people are organized...but then I am going to have to be vigilant every day about the kids not cluttering up/messing up/making things unorganized. I have to be the room mom for my son in kindergarten, because I was for the older two kids. And if other Moms volunteer in his classroom, once a week, I will to. Because I don't want him to think I don't love/care/want to be involved. I should take my two year old to the playground, so he can make friends, and I think they have a toddler music class too. *Do you hear this bullshit?* I take it all off the table and start again. The question is: What works for me? What will work best for my family? Ask yourself. It is your choice, you can add them all back onto the table. But it feels different when it is a choice, not an obligation or a "should."
I think it is wonderful when Moms can be everything to everyone. I am not one of them, nor do I care to be. I have to be true to me. I can be more present with my kids if I am not stressed. That's how I roll. I am teaching my kids, through my example, on how to be a person. And being off balance, trying to be "superwoman" is just not my thing. That is the FABULOUS thing. We, as Moms, get to define how we do it. My mom was a working mom and I admire the ROCKSTAR that she still is. She is smart, ambitious, and is the most amazing lady I ever met. She reminds me all the time to let myself off the hook. She didn't go to class parties, but I knew she loved me. Whether you are a stay-at-home-mom, work full-time, part-time, it doesn't matter. You set boundaries, because no one else will set them for you. Do something for yourself every day, whether it is a taking a walk, dancing, treating yourself, but fill up your self-love tank. Your kids don't realize you're a person, they just think you're a Mom, who feeds them, drives them around, and is at their service 24-7. If that works for you, great, if not....YOU ARE OFF THE HOOK. Let go of the "perfect/good/nice" mom thing. I, for one, am perfect for me. :)
And YAY for choices!!! A happy Mom is what kids want most. My advice: Love them lots and be silly with them. Blessings to all! And Dads, men, people in general, I hereby decree: YOU ARE OFF THE HOOK ALSO. Take a deep breath. You can be yourself now. And don't forget to enjoy life!!! Lovies, Jennylicious!!!
I don't read parenting magazines. I think there are many different ways to parent that are all going to yield some wonderful adults. In theory, this sounds good, right? Until you talk to other parents and find out what they are doing. For me, it goes like this: School is about to start. And dance. And soccer. Oh yes...and then there is that career I'm launching. I am staying in shape too. I guess my 2 1/2 year old will have to take up weight lifting too. All four kids will have to eat dinner every night. In my mind, the thoughts start rolling, like a freight train. I need to get more organized. Successful people are organized...but then I am going to have to be vigilant every day about the kids not cluttering up/messing up/making things unorganized. I have to be the room mom for my son in kindergarten, because I was for the older two kids. And if other Moms volunteer in his classroom, once a week, I will to. Because I don't want him to think I don't love/care/want to be involved. I should take my two year old to the playground, so he can make friends, and I think they have a toddler music class too. *Do you hear this bullshit?* I take it all off the table and start again. The question is: What works for me? What will work best for my family? Ask yourself. It is your choice, you can add them all back onto the table. But it feels different when it is a choice, not an obligation or a "should."
I think it is wonderful when Moms can be everything to everyone. I am not one of them, nor do I care to be. I have to be true to me. I can be more present with my kids if I am not stressed. That's how I roll. I am teaching my kids, through my example, on how to be a person. And being off balance, trying to be "superwoman" is just not my thing. That is the FABULOUS thing. We, as Moms, get to define how we do it. My mom was a working mom and I admire the ROCKSTAR that she still is. She is smart, ambitious, and is the most amazing lady I ever met. She reminds me all the time to let myself off the hook. She didn't go to class parties, but I knew she loved me. Whether you are a stay-at-home-mom, work full-time, part-time, it doesn't matter. You set boundaries, because no one else will set them for you. Do something for yourself every day, whether it is a taking a walk, dancing, treating yourself, but fill up your self-love tank. Your kids don't realize you're a person, they just think you're a Mom, who feeds them, drives them around, and is at their service 24-7. If that works for you, great, if not....YOU ARE OFF THE HOOK. Let go of the "perfect/good/nice" mom thing. I, for one, am perfect for me. :)
And YAY for choices!!! A happy Mom is what kids want most. My advice: Love them lots and be silly with them. Blessings to all! And Dads, men, people in general, I hereby decree: YOU ARE OFF THE HOOK ALSO. Take a deep breath. You can be yourself now. And don't forget to enjoy life!!! Lovies, Jennylicious!!!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Feisty Soul report from the Mommy-hood!
I love being a Mom. I used to really suck at it. Well, actually I use to think I sucked at it. I thought I was the worst mother in the world sometimes. In reality, I became a Mom at twenty and did the best I could with who I was then. I don't live in the past. Nowadays, I don't judge myself. If I do feel that I could have done something differently, I think...Okie Dokie, and move on. I actually think Motherhood is fascinating. In some cultures, it is so intuitive, instinctual, they are just doing their thing, without any of the parenting books, magazines, or experts. For many, whether you work full time, part time, or are a stay-at-home-mom, this job is like they say, the hardest. When you make a parenting mistake you can feel like you screwed them up for life. Yes, if you screw up at work, you can get fired, but the feeling like you really screwed up with your child makes you feel like a complete failure. The reason I wanted to write this is to share some things I have learned. I am the zany mother of an almost fifteen year old daughter, and three sons, eleven, five, and two.
First of all, I have learned to stop asking everyone their opinion on things related to my kids, parenting, and decisions. This used to make me feel so confused. I gave all my power away. The people pleaser in me could never win. But really, there is no real right, idea, perfect way to do it. If your kid sleeps in your bed until they are five, sucks their thumb until they were eleven (okay this was me), uses cloth diapers, eats the right serving of vegetables, go to a certain preschool, does flash cards, blah...blah...blah. Your kids are not going to remember most of this, but how you made them feel. What you were like as a parent and person is what they will be telling their grandkids. Best advice, love them. Play with them, but in your own way. If you do not like playing transformers with them, watch a movie with them, bake with them, dance with them. Just let them see you enjoy life. Let them see your JOY. Let them know you.
If you clean up the toys, they will get them out again. If you wash the windows, they will lick the glass. If you vacuum, they will dump their snack on the carpet. If you are in a rush, someone will crap their pants. These kinds of shenanigans happen with my youngest two, who often have meltdowns simultaneously and often when I get a phone call. This teaches me detachment. To not be so attached to the way things have to look or be. It's nothing personal, they don't even do it on purpose. Don't expect them to be perfect. You don't want robots, that would be boring. It's the same with older kids, only different issues. Making mistakes helps them learn and decide what works for them. Let them grow. Everyday they are changing, so you have to go with the flow. They don't want to hang out with you anymore and think what you say is all wrong. It's a normal part of development and it's nothing personal. Let them have some space to breath. No helicopter parenting here anymore. They are wiser than grown-ups give them credit for.
Your kids are going to get mad at you, give you an attitude, think you are unfair, and all that fun stuff sometimes. Life goes on. Life can be messy and beautiful at the same time. You are teaching your children that relationships are about both sides. The parent isn't always right and it does not make you look weak in showing them this. The old way of parenting doesn't work anymore. Laying down the law, never adjusting the rules, and having them fear you is a bunch of baloney. Cultivate your own style of parenting that will have it's ebb and flow. What worked yesterday may not work today. When they are little they can get over things quick, especially if given a lollipop. With my older kids, I have a habit of trying to make up with them before they are ready, wanting them to talk about their feelings, and wanting peaceful energy again. But they are entitled to their feelings, as well as I am entitled to mine. They can't make me mad, sad, happy, or anything. That is my choice. They are doing, saying, being, and I can react or I can BE, as in be energy. I can the Be Energy of whatever. I can be the energy of peace, love, & joy when I choose to. I can take a deep breath and go to the happy place, even if it seems like there is a carnival-zoo-frat party going on around me. You cannot please everyone and that would not be good for them anyway. Sometimes the best things happen, when plans change.
The idea of being a good parent has good intentions. What I think is the more important thing than trying to impossibly be a perfect parent, is to show them how to be a happy, healthy person. I have missed appointments, shown up to dress rehearsal with my daughter a week too early (she was five and she still won't let me forget it), sent my son to pajama day a day early (that was this year), and many other human moments. I am perfectly me. Back when I was a young Mom, I would beat myself for days over mistakes, replaying it in my head, feeling embarrassed, and worried about what other people would think. Thank God those days are over. I had a lady come up to me on the beach last weekend and tell me what a good Mom I was. She was observing how I dealt with a situation. It was really nice to hear. But I still have my freak out moments, but they are rare now. I use to yell all the time, because I wasn't happy inside. I worked on me. I did the internal work on myself. I can proudly-boldly-unabashedly say...I love myself, which allows me to let my kids be themselves and I can love them unconditionally.
Message that I want all the Moms to hear is to focus on yourself and your energy. Fill up your own love tank. Be FULL of yourself, full of life. Fill up your own cup first and it will be so full that the love spills out into every area of your life and everyone. Really love yourself and you will be teaching the most valuable lesson in the world, to love themselves. When you love yourself, you are happy, you are kind, you thrive. You can teach self-esteem, but they will do what you do, not what you say. What I strive everyday to instill in my kids, by just being me, is to be yourself. Love yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Not everyone is going to get you. Have lots of fun. Do your best, but more importantly be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. Follow your intuition, your inner voice. You can have bliss, joy, peace, and all the good feelings by living in the moment. Appreciate nature. Forgive people and move on. You are always connected to God/Universe/Source. You have guides and angels always loving and supporting you. You are responsible for your own energy. You can raise your vibes when you want. Life is good and it keeps getting better. I often say, "I love life. I love my life." Be in a thankful place and you will receive so much more. Carve your own unique path. Live your own life. Do what makes you happy. You do your own thing, let others do theirs, and respect everyone. I look at my kids as beings that I get to help and guide. They are not property, they are just little people. I love that they teach me as much as I teach them. I let them see me grow, learn, and bloom everyday. Deep breath again, you are doing an amazing job. Relax.
First of all, I have learned to stop asking everyone their opinion on things related to my kids, parenting, and decisions. This used to make me feel so confused. I gave all my power away. The people pleaser in me could never win. But really, there is no real right, idea, perfect way to do it. If your kid sleeps in your bed until they are five, sucks their thumb until they were eleven (okay this was me), uses cloth diapers, eats the right serving of vegetables, go to a certain preschool, does flash cards, blah...blah...blah. Your kids are not going to remember most of this, but how you made them feel. What you were like as a parent and person is what they will be telling their grandkids. Best advice, love them. Play with them, but in your own way. If you do not like playing transformers with them, watch a movie with them, bake with them, dance with them. Just let them see you enjoy life. Let them see your JOY. Let them know you.
If you clean up the toys, they will get them out again. If you wash the windows, they will lick the glass. If you vacuum, they will dump their snack on the carpet. If you are in a rush, someone will crap their pants. These kinds of shenanigans happen with my youngest two, who often have meltdowns simultaneously and often when I get a phone call. This teaches me detachment. To not be so attached to the way things have to look or be. It's nothing personal, they don't even do it on purpose. Don't expect them to be perfect. You don't want robots, that would be boring. It's the same with older kids, only different issues. Making mistakes helps them learn and decide what works for them. Let them grow. Everyday they are changing, so you have to go with the flow. They don't want to hang out with you anymore and think what you say is all wrong. It's a normal part of development and it's nothing personal. Let them have some space to breath. No helicopter parenting here anymore. They are wiser than grown-ups give them credit for.
Your kids are going to get mad at you, give you an attitude, think you are unfair, and all that fun stuff sometimes. Life goes on. Life can be messy and beautiful at the same time. You are teaching your children that relationships are about both sides. The parent isn't always right and it does not make you look weak in showing them this. The old way of parenting doesn't work anymore. Laying down the law, never adjusting the rules, and having them fear you is a bunch of baloney. Cultivate your own style of parenting that will have it's ebb and flow. What worked yesterday may not work today. When they are little they can get over things quick, especially if given a lollipop. With my older kids, I have a habit of trying to make up with them before they are ready, wanting them to talk about their feelings, and wanting peaceful energy again. But they are entitled to their feelings, as well as I am entitled to mine. They can't make me mad, sad, happy, or anything. That is my choice. They are doing, saying, being, and I can react or I can BE, as in be energy. I can the Be Energy of whatever. I can be the energy of peace, love, & joy when I choose to. I can take a deep breath and go to the happy place, even if it seems like there is a carnival-zoo-frat party going on around me. You cannot please everyone and that would not be good for them anyway. Sometimes the best things happen, when plans change.
The idea of being a good parent has good intentions. What I think is the more important thing than trying to impossibly be a perfect parent, is to show them how to be a happy, healthy person. I have missed appointments, shown up to dress rehearsal with my daughter a week too early (she was five and she still won't let me forget it), sent my son to pajama day a day early (that was this year), and many other human moments. I am perfectly me. Back when I was a young Mom, I would beat myself for days over mistakes, replaying it in my head, feeling embarrassed, and worried about what other people would think. Thank God those days are over. I had a lady come up to me on the beach last weekend and tell me what a good Mom I was. She was observing how I dealt with a situation. It was really nice to hear. But I still have my freak out moments, but they are rare now. I use to yell all the time, because I wasn't happy inside. I worked on me. I did the internal work on myself. I can proudly-boldly-unabashedly say...I love myself, which allows me to let my kids be themselves and I can love them unconditionally.
Message that I want all the Moms to hear is to focus on yourself and your energy. Fill up your own love tank. Be FULL of yourself, full of life. Fill up your own cup first and it will be so full that the love spills out into every area of your life and everyone. Really love yourself and you will be teaching the most valuable lesson in the world, to love themselves. When you love yourself, you are happy, you are kind, you thrive. You can teach self-esteem, but they will do what you do, not what you say. What I strive everyday to instill in my kids, by just being me, is to be yourself. Love yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Not everyone is going to get you. Have lots of fun. Do your best, but more importantly be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. Follow your intuition, your inner voice. You can have bliss, joy, peace, and all the good feelings by living in the moment. Appreciate nature. Forgive people and move on. You are always connected to God/Universe/Source. You have guides and angels always loving and supporting you. You are responsible for your own energy. You can raise your vibes when you want. Life is good and it keeps getting better. I often say, "I love life. I love my life." Be in a thankful place and you will receive so much more. Carve your own unique path. Live your own life. Do what makes you happy. You do your own thing, let others do theirs, and respect everyone. I look at my kids as beings that I get to help and guide. They are not property, they are just little people. I love that they teach me as much as I teach them. I let them see me grow, learn, and bloom everyday. Deep breath again, you are doing an amazing job. Relax.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Let your haters, be your motivators!
I share these negative comments from two of my Jennylicious youtube videos, because I found some great lessons from them. On my video, "Shake your biscuit," This person commented: I feel bad for ur children... Having a mom who doesn't kno how to act like an adult, grow up please!
And on my video,"I'm so pretty," she commented: I'm a girl, and even think ugly girls shouldn't make videos like this. Just saying.... Freedom of speech.
Interesting, huh? When I first checked my email and saw this, I cringed...a mean comment doesn't feel good. Oh, but it does, after you see that it is not about you, it's about them. One of the greatest lessons is to not take things personally, which is definitely a lot easier when it is a stranger.
First of all, I could delete it. But I won't. I am not embarrassed. I know who I am. I responded to her in a kind manner. Her opinion is through her lens she views the world with. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a really great Mom, and HELL YEAH, I am silly. I am never growing up and I don't care what anyone thinks of that. Being kid-like and also being a responsible parent is what I am. As for the second video, I guess she is saying I am ugly. Which is fine. I know I am beautiful and that is all that matters. She doesn't have a picture up, but I hope she feels beautiful and that she loves herself. When you truly love yourself, you don't need to comment mean things, to hurt other people. You wish everyone the best.
Plus, I did not come here to be liked, I came here to be ME. It's easy to retreat when someone doesn't like your video, your book, your painting, your photography, your music, or whatever. It makes you reexamine why you are doing it. It you are making it so that EVERYONE likes it, it's going to be watered down and not authentic. So why do I put myself out there, with my videos, to be judged by all the world to see? I make videos because they are fun, they uplift, inspire, amuse, & spread good vibes. I could always disable the comments section. But why? Other people may want to tell me that I made them laugh, giggle, feel lighter. That they decided to step outside their box and buy that leopard dress, because they were inspired by my zany spirit.
And no worries all you beautiful peeps, I will not be deterred by negative Nancies. I am still going to make videos, write books, and shine my awesomeness for all the world to see. I have a wonderful group of cheerleaders and I feel blessed to have them. I am cheering on each and every one of you who are reading this on. I believe in you. I believe in me. What energy you put out there, comes back you you. And to my naysayers, Namaste, Blessings, & all the yummy delicious to you.
P.S. My kids thought it was funny! I am so blessed to have them. My ten year old wanted to comment back a mean comment in my defense, but I said that would not make me look like a very good mommy. ;p MUAH! xoxo
And on my video,"I'm so pretty," she commented: I'm a girl, and even think ugly girls shouldn't make videos like this. Just saying.... Freedom of speech.
Interesting, huh? When I first checked my email and saw this, I cringed...a mean comment doesn't feel good. Oh, but it does, after you see that it is not about you, it's about them. One of the greatest lessons is to not take things personally, which is definitely a lot easier when it is a stranger.
First of all, I could delete it. But I won't. I am not embarrassed. I know who I am. I responded to her in a kind manner. Her opinion is through her lens she views the world with. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a really great Mom, and HELL YEAH, I am silly. I am never growing up and I don't care what anyone thinks of that. Being kid-like and also being a responsible parent is what I am. As for the second video, I guess she is saying I am ugly. Which is fine. I know I am beautiful and that is all that matters. She doesn't have a picture up, but I hope she feels beautiful and that she loves herself. When you truly love yourself, you don't need to comment mean things, to hurt other people. You wish everyone the best.
Plus, I did not come here to be liked, I came here to be ME. It's easy to retreat when someone doesn't like your video, your book, your painting, your photography, your music, or whatever. It makes you reexamine why you are doing it. It you are making it so that EVERYONE likes it, it's going to be watered down and not authentic. So why do I put myself out there, with my videos, to be judged by all the world to see? I make videos because they are fun, they uplift, inspire, amuse, & spread good vibes. I could always disable the comments section. But why? Other people may want to tell me that I made them laugh, giggle, feel lighter. That they decided to step outside their box and buy that leopard dress, because they were inspired by my zany spirit.
And no worries all you beautiful peeps, I will not be deterred by negative Nancies. I am still going to make videos, write books, and shine my awesomeness for all the world to see. I have a wonderful group of cheerleaders and I feel blessed to have them. I am cheering on each and every one of you who are reading this on. I believe in you. I believe in me. What energy you put out there, comes back you you. And to my naysayers, Namaste, Blessings, & all the yummy delicious to you.
P.S. My kids thought it was funny! I am so blessed to have them. My ten year old wanted to comment back a mean comment in my defense, but I said that would not make me look like a very good mommy. ;p MUAH! xoxo
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Labels are for fables
I got to thinking about labels. And not the cute ones, like the C's on the Coach or Chanel bags. But sometimes, we wear labels like that, on our emotional sleeves, without even knowing it. In the fables, there are good guys, bad guys, damsels in distress, and one-dimensional characters. We are much more than that. So when we label ourselves, we limit ourselves. Why do that? We are always changing, growing, and learning. Sometimes people in our lives don't like when we change, even though it's inevitable. Everyone likes to keep us labeled in their minds. It's how we understand the world. And when we don't understand people, we still label them, maybe as crazy. What if we let go of labels and limitations we place on others and ourselves? As I watch my children grow and constantly change, it challenges me to let go of who I thought they were, from one year to the next. They are finding themselves, as am I, as are we all. It is a beautiful dance we do together and it's always evolving.
Here's the story of me ending an argument with my teenage daughter, which is really funny on how she was labeling me.
"Nothing matters before this moment," I say, wanting to move on.
"Do you even here yourself? You sound like a 1-800 number, for a psychic hotline. Nothing matters before this moment," she said in a soft voice, poking fun at me.
I bursted out laughing.
"You're drinking the Kool-aid," she said.
"I'm not drinking anybodies Kool-aid." I said.
"You're making the Kool-aid," she said. I was still laughing and we had easily ended the argument.
No worries, I am not starting a cult. I want my kids to be free to think what they want and find their truth for themselves. Plus, teenagers are usually think there parents are weird, right? She teases me, but I don't mind, because we joke with each other all the time. I keep evolving how I parent and especially how I deal with conflict and problems. Damn those Moms, for being like a real actual person, and changing sometimes. LOL! And I will keep changing until the day I die. And as a parent, I can't label my kids as the smart one, or helpful one, or difficult one, even though it may seem like that. When we label them, we limit who they can be.
Do you ever find yourself saying this like:
I am not a great athlete so I am couldn't do...
I am not a good writer, so I can't...
I've never been patient so...
I'm not a nature person so...
I don't like to try new things so...
You may say these things in your head. but you see, everyday, you get a brand new chance to become a painter, because you have secretly always wanted to. Take a music lesson or whatever you have a little whisper in you heart is saying. Step out of your box and try something new.
Think about all the fun and possibilities, we miss out on, when we limit who we are. Luckily in this day and age, you can redefine yourself, as much as you want. If you got divorced, even into the last century, you were therefore labeled in a negative way. Look at how far we have come. Being out as a gay person was unheard of in the past. Now, there are new laws everyday that support civil rights for all. The world is so connected now by technology, especially the internet, that people from all over globe are getting to see past the labels, of where we come from. Labeling people by what country they live in seems so silly, since in the US, we are so diverse. I love to meet people different cultures, backgrounds because it's fascinating to hear people's stories. It expands my mind and I learn from every interaction. If I label them, closing myself off to them, what could I be missing out on?
Still, some may label or categorize us, even in our families. That's OK. We never have to take on someone's label of us. We are free to be. On a funny note, labels can come in handy, like on spice jars. I was making popcorn for my kids and grabbed cinnamon, instead of smoked paprika, when I had already added garlic powder and turmeric. I asked my older two to guess the secret ingredient and they guessed right, but they ate it anyway. It actually tasted good. Who knew?
Here's the story of me ending an argument with my teenage daughter, which is really funny on how she was labeling me.
"Nothing matters before this moment," I say, wanting to move on.
"Do you even here yourself? You sound like a 1-800 number, for a psychic hotline. Nothing matters before this moment," she said in a soft voice, poking fun at me.
I bursted out laughing.
"You're drinking the Kool-aid," she said.
"I'm not drinking anybodies Kool-aid." I said.
"You're making the Kool-aid," she said. I was still laughing and we had easily ended the argument.
No worries, I am not starting a cult. I want my kids to be free to think what they want and find their truth for themselves. Plus, teenagers are usually think there parents are weird, right? She teases me, but I don't mind, because we joke with each other all the time. I keep evolving how I parent and especially how I deal with conflict and problems. Damn those Moms, for being like a real actual person, and changing sometimes. LOL! And I will keep changing until the day I die. And as a parent, I can't label my kids as the smart one, or helpful one, or difficult one, even though it may seem like that. When we label them, we limit who they can be.
Do you ever find yourself saying this like:
I am not a great athlete so I am couldn't do...
I am not a good writer, so I can't...
I've never been patient so...
I'm not a nature person so...
I don't like to try new things so...
You may say these things in your head. but you see, everyday, you get a brand new chance to become a painter, because you have secretly always wanted to. Take a music lesson or whatever you have a little whisper in you heart is saying. Step out of your box and try something new.
Think about all the fun and possibilities, we miss out on, when we limit who we are. Luckily in this day and age, you can redefine yourself, as much as you want. If you got divorced, even into the last century, you were therefore labeled in a negative way. Look at how far we have come. Being out as a gay person was unheard of in the past. Now, there are new laws everyday that support civil rights for all. The world is so connected now by technology, especially the internet, that people from all over globe are getting to see past the labels, of where we come from. Labeling people by what country they live in seems so silly, since in the US, we are so diverse. I love to meet people different cultures, backgrounds because it's fascinating to hear people's stories. It expands my mind and I learn from every interaction. If I label them, closing myself off to them, what could I be missing out on?
Still, some may label or categorize us, even in our families. That's OK. We never have to take on someone's label of us. We are free to be. On a funny note, labels can come in handy, like on spice jars. I was making popcorn for my kids and grabbed cinnamon, instead of smoked paprika, when I had already added garlic powder and turmeric. I asked my older two to guess the secret ingredient and they guessed right, but they ate it anyway. It actually tasted good. Who knew?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I love looking in the mirror!
I do love looking at myself in the mirror, but this is about a different kind of mirror. Our relationships are our mirror, to truly see ourselves. When we are in our solitude, we gain peace, clarity, and insight. But if you really want to know about yourself, have relationships with lots of people. I don't mean be a hoochie, but rather be a spouse/partner/significant other, mom/dad, daughter/son, sister/brother, friend, co-worker, teacher, etc. Our relationships show us what we may want to work on, or what we would like to change, in ourselves, it's always about us. If you look outside yourself for love, peace, or happiness, you will always be at the mercy of outside forces. You can change any relationship, from within. It's all your perspective.
If you feel like you were someone's victim, that may be true...but you do not want to stay that. You are a powerful being, free from anyone else's influence, free from your past. No matter what the thing, that person did, the longer you dwell on it, the longer they still hurt you. You can imagine yourself cutting a cord that energetically attaches you and them together. You can write them a letter getting all of your pain out and then burn it. You can process why they did it, until the cows come home, but then it's about them. You can analyze your feelings to death or you can move on. Move on, because YOU are worth it.
If someone ticked you off or offends, look at your part, your reaction. What buttons does it press? What "issues" does it trigger? I had a friend, who I had known for over five years "unfriend" me on Facebook. Why? We know it's not because I write mean things. I guess we are not a match anymore. For a split second, I thought, what did I do wrong? Then I remember, nothing, being me is fabulous. Releasing the need to be right and not taking things personally frees you, from other's drama. If my Dad, or my daughter, say that I am wrong for thinking the way I do, or don't get me, it's an opportunity for me. For me to stand in my truth and be myself, loving myself totally. Regulating your thoughts and feeling is literally the key to your happiness.
If you feel someone doesn't make you happy, it's not their job. You are totally in charge of your happiness. If you say they don't love or accept me, and if they did, you would be happy-happier-feel good...you gave all your power away. Loving and accepting yourself improves your relationships more than anything. You set the tone, vibrationally with people, from within. I have learned this through my marriage. I have been married for fifteen years, since I was 19 years old. Many times, I would look to him to change, when it was really about me finding happiness inside myself. The happier I am, the better partner I make, for sure. I also can't be on a roller coaster of happiness/unhappiness by what one of my four kids is doing. Regardless of what carnival of craziness is going on in my house, my happy place really is within. Each of my children teach me different things, in how they challenge me. I think, Hmm....well here, I am letting go of needing to control, or needing someone to agree, or whatever it is.
My best advice with friendship break-ups, is to think of what you did like about them, and leave the rest of the crap alone. You can just have changed, grown apart,without having to make them bad or wrong. You don't want all those yucky feelings in your heart. If people don't like you, you have to adopt the "Oh well-whatever-who cares" attitude. You don't necessarily like everyone, or prefer their personality either. Resentment, past hurts, old stories, are the metaphoric baggage we choose to carry, or not. The past has past. Whatever someone did, made you feel like, or whatever, doesn't deserve space in your mind. Let go of it. Take it to a higher perspective. See them as a soul. It's way easier to forgive then.
If you see yourself repeating certain patterns with people, you can change it. If you find yourself playing victim, with your friends, spouse, the lady at the grocery store. Celebrate. You are getting a huge message loud and clear. And now you see, that you don't like it, so affirm, "I am a powerful being. I am in control of my own life. I have control over my thoughts, feelings, and actions." The more you focus on positive thoughts, letting go of crappy one, you will see this affirm is totally true. Now if you attract needy people, ask yourself why. Do you feel more valuable when people need you? Do you have the idea that all people do is take, take, take? Hello, victim again, just hiding in a different costume. Do you have a problem saying no, standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, you like to people please.? This is a worthiness thing. Feeling more worthy when you are a nice person, do good things, or when you give more than receive, is a trap. It is wonderful to give and be nice, I do all the time, but not at the expense of myself. If you are doing this not from your highest place, in your soul, you feel drained, and taken advantage of. If you think, well I should do it or what will people think if I don't do it...RED FLAG. Affirm: I am worthy because I exist. I am worthy of all good things. I am worthy because I am a wonderful human being. I am worthy because I am a Divine soul." Or make up your own affirmations, that feel good to you. There are great affirmations from Louise L. Hay, she is the Queen of Affirmations. See, all the things that you thought we bad about self, your issues, challenges, they aren't the end of the world. You are so powerful and you can change anything.
I can't live in a hut mediating all day, so I learn spiritually through being a Mom. and all the other brilliant things I am, right in New Jersey. I learn more everyday about myself and the world, through my experiences and relationships. Relationships are such a beautiful thing. The reflect back to us how we really feel inside and shine a light on how we really think. Use this to your benefit. The more you work on making yourself happy and loving yourself, the better you relationships get. And if they don't change much, you give it less energy, cause you choose YOU, over them. Always choose YOU and you will love everyone way more. Yay for you! Cheering, supporting, and believing in you always! :) Now go look in the mirror and blow yourself a kiss and say "I LOVE YOU!"
If you feel like you were someone's victim, that may be true...but you do not want to stay that. You are a powerful being, free from anyone else's influence, free from your past. No matter what the thing, that person did, the longer you dwell on it, the longer they still hurt you. You can imagine yourself cutting a cord that energetically attaches you and them together. You can write them a letter getting all of your pain out and then burn it. You can process why they did it, until the cows come home, but then it's about them. You can analyze your feelings to death or you can move on. Move on, because YOU are worth it.
If someone ticked you off or offends, look at your part, your reaction. What buttons does it press? What "issues" does it trigger? I had a friend, who I had known for over five years "unfriend" me on Facebook. Why? We know it's not because I write mean things. I guess we are not a match anymore. For a split second, I thought, what did I do wrong? Then I remember, nothing, being me is fabulous. Releasing the need to be right and not taking things personally frees you, from other's drama. If my Dad, or my daughter, say that I am wrong for thinking the way I do, or don't get me, it's an opportunity for me. For me to stand in my truth and be myself, loving myself totally. Regulating your thoughts and feeling is literally the key to your happiness.
If you feel someone doesn't make you happy, it's not their job. You are totally in charge of your happiness. If you say they don't love or accept me, and if they did, you would be happy-happier-feel good...you gave all your power away. Loving and accepting yourself improves your relationships more than anything. You set the tone, vibrationally with people, from within. I have learned this through my marriage. I have been married for fifteen years, since I was 19 years old. Many times, I would look to him to change, when it was really about me finding happiness inside myself. The happier I am, the better partner I make, for sure. I also can't be on a roller coaster of happiness/unhappiness by what one of my four kids is doing. Regardless of what carnival of craziness is going on in my house, my happy place really is within. Each of my children teach me different things, in how they challenge me. I think, Hmm....well here, I am letting go of needing to control, or needing someone to agree, or whatever it is.
My best advice with friendship break-ups, is to think of what you did like about them, and leave the rest of the crap alone. You can just have changed, grown apart,without having to make them bad or wrong. You don't want all those yucky feelings in your heart. If people don't like you, you have to adopt the "Oh well-whatever-who cares" attitude. You don't necessarily like everyone, or prefer their personality either. Resentment, past hurts, old stories, are the metaphoric baggage we choose to carry, or not. The past has past. Whatever someone did, made you feel like, or whatever, doesn't deserve space in your mind. Let go of it. Take it to a higher perspective. See them as a soul. It's way easier to forgive then.
If you see yourself repeating certain patterns with people, you can change it. If you find yourself playing victim, with your friends, spouse, the lady at the grocery store. Celebrate. You are getting a huge message loud and clear. And now you see, that you don't like it, so affirm, "I am a powerful being. I am in control of my own life. I have control over my thoughts, feelings, and actions." The more you focus on positive thoughts, letting go of crappy one, you will see this affirm is totally true. Now if you attract needy people, ask yourself why. Do you feel more valuable when people need you? Do you have the idea that all people do is take, take, take? Hello, victim again, just hiding in a different costume. Do you have a problem saying no, standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, you like to people please.? This is a worthiness thing. Feeling more worthy when you are a nice person, do good things, or when you give more than receive, is a trap. It is wonderful to give and be nice, I do all the time, but not at the expense of myself. If you are doing this not from your highest place, in your soul, you feel drained, and taken advantage of. If you think, well I should do it or what will people think if I don't do it...RED FLAG. Affirm: I am worthy because I exist. I am worthy of all good things. I am worthy because I am a wonderful human being. I am worthy because I am a Divine soul." Or make up your own affirmations, that feel good to you. There are great affirmations from Louise L. Hay, she is the Queen of Affirmations. See, all the things that you thought we bad about self, your issues, challenges, they aren't the end of the world. You are so powerful and you can change anything.
I can't live in a hut mediating all day, so I learn spiritually through being a Mom. and all the other brilliant things I am, right in New Jersey. I learn more everyday about myself and the world, through my experiences and relationships. Relationships are such a beautiful thing. The reflect back to us how we really feel inside and shine a light on how we really think. Use this to your benefit. The more you work on making yourself happy and loving yourself, the better you relationships get. And if they don't change much, you give it less energy, cause you choose YOU, over them. Always choose YOU and you will love everyone way more. Yay for you! Cheering, supporting, and believing in you always! :) Now go look in the mirror and blow yourself a kiss and say "I LOVE YOU!"
Sunday, February 5, 2012
FREE to be Queen B!
Queen Bee is a term used to describe the "it" girl, that other girls follow. It's her confident energy that people are attracted to. People see something in her, that they want to be. Dressing like her, acting like her, or listening to her, can make them feel good, for a little while. We've all gotten swept up in someone else's energy, even through boyfriends, or a group of people, like in a club. Eventually, you realize that you are not really being you and want to be free. That feeling of really being yourself, is the ultimate freedom. As adults, we may even see celebrities, TV personalities, or spiritual gurus that seem to have it all, and we want what they are having. But really, we can't. We are not meant to be like anyone else. And you want to feel, what it looks like they are feeling. So decide to feel that NOW. Practice feeling confident, sexy, carefree, smart, sassy, or whatever you want to be and BE it. Also surround yourself with people who honor your uniqueness and are not threatened by you being different than them, is true friendship. And we make the best friends, when we know and love ourselves.
I am my own Queen B now, but I remember floundering around, when I was younger, always feeling like a fish out of water. It's cause I was really a mermaid. :) Thankfully I figured that out and embrace my true nature. But when I was in maybe fourth grade, I thought my friend was super-duper-cool and she said she liked this one TVshow. I said that I did too, but I actually had never even heard of it. She was saying to her brother, remember that episode where...and they asked if I saw it. I said yes. They said that they had made it up. I felt so dumb. This scenario sounds like an episode off of a kid's show nowadays, teaching kids to not be a follower. I see so many beautiful lessons I have had that led me to this very moment. We learn through our experiences, if we are aware of ourselves, and life gets so much easier and way better.
I went through cycles of being a follower, a leader, a hater, an appreciator, an envious-jealous-meany, a loving-supportive-uplifter, and more, when I was growing up. When I was really truly being me, I had a blast, laughing and acting like a complete goof. It wasn't really until after I turned thirty that I can really truly say that I really knew who I was. I let myself be ME. I let myself be FREE to be my own Queen B. The B, for me, is beauty, blessings, bliss, bling, bootylicious, babies, bubbles, and soon lots of brouhaha. I dream big for me and I wish well for all, because I know there is no competition. When I really let myself be my sparkly Queen B self, I saw the possibilities were endless and decided what I wanted for me. I stepped outside my own box and realized I am so much more than I ever knew and I could do anything, like write a book. And I want my friends and everyone to succeed in ever way, to be happy, and to BE themselves. We all have the power within us to be Queen B, of our own lives, creating what we want and living deliciously, fabulously, & happily after all. We can all be Queen B, isn't that freeing! Be ridiculously amazingly YOU!
This is dedicated to my BFF, Shannon, who I have always been myself with, and we have always loved and supported each other. The very first time that we hung out, we were laughing so hard, we couldn't breathe. There has never been any competition, we were more like the kind of Bees that like flowers, honey, and just flying around, not needing to be boss. I am so blessed and lucky to know her, since we were in seventh grade, and watch her become this amazing woman and wonderful mother. We are each other's biggest cheerleaders and we are going places, Baby! My wish for you all is to have a friend like her and to be yourself, Queen B's!!!
I am my own Queen B now, but I remember floundering around, when I was younger, always feeling like a fish out of water. It's cause I was really a mermaid. :) Thankfully I figured that out and embrace my true nature. But when I was in maybe fourth grade, I thought my friend was super-duper-cool and she said she liked this one TVshow. I said that I did too, but I actually had never even heard of it. She was saying to her brother, remember that episode where...and they asked if I saw it. I said yes. They said that they had made it up. I felt so dumb. This scenario sounds like an episode off of a kid's show nowadays, teaching kids to not be a follower. I see so many beautiful lessons I have had that led me to this very moment. We learn through our experiences, if we are aware of ourselves, and life gets so much easier and way better.
I went through cycles of being a follower, a leader, a hater, an appreciator, an envious-jealous-meany, a loving-supportive-uplifter, and more, when I was growing up. When I was really truly being me, I had a blast, laughing and acting like a complete goof. It wasn't really until after I turned thirty that I can really truly say that I really knew who I was. I let myself be ME. I let myself be FREE to be my own Queen B. The B, for me, is beauty, blessings, bliss, bling, bootylicious, babies, bubbles, and soon lots of brouhaha. I dream big for me and I wish well for all, because I know there is no competition. When I really let myself be my sparkly Queen B self, I saw the possibilities were endless and decided what I wanted for me. I stepped outside my own box and realized I am so much more than I ever knew and I could do anything, like write a book. And I want my friends and everyone to succeed in ever way, to be happy, and to BE themselves. We all have the power within us to be Queen B, of our own lives, creating what we want and living deliciously, fabulously, & happily after all. We can all be Queen B, isn't that freeing! Be ridiculously amazingly YOU!
This is dedicated to my BFF, Shannon, who I have always been myself with, and we have always loved and supported each other. The very first time that we hung out, we were laughing so hard, we couldn't breathe. There has never been any competition, we were more like the kind of Bees that like flowers, honey, and just flying around, not needing to be boss. I am so blessed and lucky to know her, since we were in seventh grade, and watch her become this amazing woman and wonderful mother. We are each other's biggest cheerleaders and we are going places, Baby! My wish for you all is to have a friend like her and to be yourself, Queen B's!!!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
C what I'm talkin' about!
I learn a lot from my children. I learn about myself in parenting them. I am blessed to have four kids, who keep me on my toes, and being me lots of joy. I have one daughter, McKayla, a fourteen year old, in her first year of high school. I have three sons, Aidan (10-5th grade), Finnegan (almost 5-preschool) and Seamus (2 yrs old today). I deal with different personalities and different ages, which all have their awesome parts and their...well, their opportunities for me to grow. I cannot control any of them, nor would I want to, except when they are bad. LOL! I see those places where I get frustrated and want to control, as a way for me to really let go. It really changes your state of mind. I wanted to share some of what I've been learning and realizing for myself. The Crappy C's and the Cool C's.
Crappy C's
Compare: Never compare yourself to others. It's a dumb game that you will lose to someone, in some area. I want my kids to learn that you really are running your OWN race, not against someone else. Ahhh...in my twenties, I compared myself to every other mother. This is the biggest energy drain. Just do YOU, do YOU good, and leave everyone else out of it. When you really work on loving yourself, you value yourself more, and don't need to make others, better or worse, than you. You realize you are free, to be you, and they are free, to be them.
Compete: When you are focused on how well someone else is doing, it may momentarily give you a boost to get your butt in gear, but then what...they go ahead of you, or someone else now is, and then you are back to square one. Let yourself shine, in your own way, doing your best and you will be happy because you are enjoying YOUR journey. I really do wish everyone well and that they have success, there is plenty to go around. I want my kids to realize that compare & compete are an evil duo, not to be messed with.
Control: My kids are so good at providing me with material to learn this one. Whether it is them, not listening/attitude/being kids, or your neighbor, brother, partner, friend, whoever, you CANNOT control anyone. When you are trying to force it, see what happens, when you let go. One of my sanity savers is sending Light & Love to whoever and it centers me. If I act like an ass and yell, I remind myself, that while that yields immediate results, in the process I felt bad. So what do I want...to feel good, or control/get my way/let others have the key to my happiness.
Complain: Where you ever listening to someone complain and thinking, I wish they would shut the hell up. Well, that's what you sound like you complain. It doesn't solve anything. Maybe for some, they get people to change behaviors, but going about it in a positive way, makes you feel a heck of a lot better, in the process. And if you observe people, you will see the Law of Attraction at work, in that if they constantly complain, they attract more to complain about. I have heard people complain about things, that I thought were good, it's all perspective. Like grocery shopping, I love having a variety to choose from and the money to pay for them. That makes it a totally different experience for me. It's the same with exercise and cooking, you can find they joy, cause why live on minute of your life, not trying to make the best of it.
Cool C's (Could be called Conscious C's also)
Cultivate: Create new way of thinking, more positive thoughts and lots of appreciation. New habits like meditation (one of the best things I ever did), a gratitude journal, and there are a million books of self-help, positive thinking, spirituality that can really change your life. Even if you replace some TV shows with funnier ones or really a juicy novel, or whatever brings you joy at the end of your day. Remember you can change your life by cultivating a new version of it. In my upbeat attitude, I show my kids how to cultivate a way of life.
Choose: We have many choices we take for granted. We get to choose what we eat, what we wear, what we read, watch on TV, who we hang out with, and what we think. Be choosy about your thoughts, Don't let a bunch of negative garbage play on a constant loop in your head. OK, so your boss is an ass, change jobs or change your attitude about him. You get to choose how you think, and if you don't like your negative thinking, cause you realize it's not working anymore, than you can choose to think positively. I teach my kids, that each one of us, can always choose differently, in each moment. And if you mess up, there is always next time.
Clarity: With each interaction we have, everything we see, read, hear we make judgements. We don't have to judge them as good or bad, but by rather if it feels good to us, resonates with us, works for us. We gain clarity everyday. I like that, I'd like more of that, I LOVE that! When we can detach a little and not take everything personally, we can see things much clearer. For me, clarity is not about figuring out everything, but a vibrational, spiritual, energy thing. When something makes my heart sing, touches my soul, and opens my mind more I gain so much clarity. I teach my kids that they make up their own minds and that it is up to each one of us, to decide what we believe. I can't give them or anyone clarity, I wouldn't wnat to rob them of their joyful journey.
Care: Take care of yourself. Take baths, move your body, eat delicious things, feed your soul with things that delight you. Care about how you feel about you. My message is always~LOVE YOURSELF! And you are so much more loving to everyone, when you have taken care of yourself. Don't expect yourself to be perfect and get down on yourself. Always forgive yourself for mistakes, the past is done, and now move forward. Only dwell on the positive. Every time I say I love you to my kids, I am building their self-esteem. I want them to know they are ROCKSTARS. How I treat myself, is what they learn about how to treat themselves. So, if you leave dishes in the sink, your playroom doesn't get leaned one day, you forgot it was show-and-tell day at school...oh well. It is OK. Feeling guilty is a waste, life is to be lived!
My goal everyday is to uplift and inspire, especially through my writing and blogging. I love to spread joy and remind others to love themselves. I aim to raise my vibration and deepen my connection to God/Source/Universe and have fun! You get to choose what works for you, isn't that awesome! Muah to ALL!
Crappy C's
Compare: Never compare yourself to others. It's a dumb game that you will lose to someone, in some area. I want my kids to learn that you really are running your OWN race, not against someone else. Ahhh...in my twenties, I compared myself to every other mother. This is the biggest energy drain. Just do YOU, do YOU good, and leave everyone else out of it. When you really work on loving yourself, you value yourself more, and don't need to make others, better or worse, than you. You realize you are free, to be you, and they are free, to be them.
Compete: When you are focused on how well someone else is doing, it may momentarily give you a boost to get your butt in gear, but then what...they go ahead of you, or someone else now is, and then you are back to square one. Let yourself shine, in your own way, doing your best and you will be happy because you are enjoying YOUR journey. I really do wish everyone well and that they have success, there is plenty to go around. I want my kids to realize that compare & compete are an evil duo, not to be messed with.
Control: My kids are so good at providing me with material to learn this one. Whether it is them, not listening/attitude/being kids, or your neighbor, brother, partner, friend, whoever, you CANNOT control anyone. When you are trying to force it, see what happens, when you let go. One of my sanity savers is sending Light & Love to whoever and it centers me. If I act like an ass and yell, I remind myself, that while that yields immediate results, in the process I felt bad. So what do I want...to feel good, or control/get my way/let others have the key to my happiness.
Complain: Where you ever listening to someone complain and thinking, I wish they would shut the hell up. Well, that's what you sound like you complain. It doesn't solve anything. Maybe for some, they get people to change behaviors, but going about it in a positive way, makes you feel a heck of a lot better, in the process. And if you observe people, you will see the Law of Attraction at work, in that if they constantly complain, they attract more to complain about. I have heard people complain about things, that I thought were good, it's all perspective. Like grocery shopping, I love having a variety to choose from and the money to pay for them. That makes it a totally different experience for me. It's the same with exercise and cooking, you can find they joy, cause why live on minute of your life, not trying to make the best of it.
Cool C's (Could be called Conscious C's also)
Cultivate: Create new way of thinking, more positive thoughts and lots of appreciation. New habits like meditation (one of the best things I ever did), a gratitude journal, and there are a million books of self-help, positive thinking, spirituality that can really change your life. Even if you replace some TV shows with funnier ones or really a juicy novel, or whatever brings you joy at the end of your day. Remember you can change your life by cultivating a new version of it. In my upbeat attitude, I show my kids how to cultivate a way of life.
Choose: We have many choices we take for granted. We get to choose what we eat, what we wear, what we read, watch on TV, who we hang out with, and what we think. Be choosy about your thoughts, Don't let a bunch of negative garbage play on a constant loop in your head. OK, so your boss is an ass, change jobs or change your attitude about him. You get to choose how you think, and if you don't like your negative thinking, cause you realize it's not working anymore, than you can choose to think positively. I teach my kids, that each one of us, can always choose differently, in each moment. And if you mess up, there is always next time.
Clarity: With each interaction we have, everything we see, read, hear we make judgements. We don't have to judge them as good or bad, but by rather if it feels good to us, resonates with us, works for us. We gain clarity everyday. I like that, I'd like more of that, I LOVE that! When we can detach a little and not take everything personally, we can see things much clearer. For me, clarity is not about figuring out everything, but a vibrational, spiritual, energy thing. When something makes my heart sing, touches my soul, and opens my mind more I gain so much clarity. I teach my kids that they make up their own minds and that it is up to each one of us, to decide what we believe. I can't give them or anyone clarity, I wouldn't wnat to rob them of their joyful journey.
Care: Take care of yourself. Take baths, move your body, eat delicious things, feed your soul with things that delight you. Care about how you feel about you. My message is always~LOVE YOURSELF! And you are so much more loving to everyone, when you have taken care of yourself. Don't expect yourself to be perfect and get down on yourself. Always forgive yourself for mistakes, the past is done, and now move forward. Only dwell on the positive. Every time I say I love you to my kids, I am building their self-esteem. I want them to know they are ROCKSTARS. How I treat myself, is what they learn about how to treat themselves. So, if you leave dishes in the sink, your playroom doesn't get leaned one day, you forgot it was show-and-tell day at school...oh well. It is OK. Feeling guilty is a waste, life is to be lived!
My goal everyday is to uplift and inspire, especially through my writing and blogging. I love to spread joy and remind others to love themselves. I aim to raise my vibration and deepen my connection to God/Source/Universe and have fun! You get to choose what works for you, isn't that awesome! Muah to ALL!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Hello 2012, into more joy we will delve! *ALERT* Resolutions are not dangerous.
Interesting energy, since January 1st. Lots of info surrounding 2012, and the consensus that I have found, is there is lots of movement and everything is moving faster. Lots of clearing of the old still, and like a reboot, of sorts. I will say, for me, I have felt like de-cluttering and letting go of whatever no longer serves me. I try to focus on the positive, always, but I'm getting nudged to step it up even further. Which means, sometimes, the old garbage in your mind (old beliefs, things people have said, fears, doubt, anger, shame, insecurities, whatever is not vibrationally a match, to what you want, or who you TRULY really are.) You may feel like you don't know why things pop up, just know that you can just relax, it's all good. Let it go. You may feel like you don't know what you believe anymore, which is GREAT, it brings clarity. Trust yourself. You are OK.
Yesterday, I had lots of feelings come up for me. I was frustrated bout things and getting angry. I was trying to observe my thoughts, without getting caught up in them. I feel for my ego's tricks, got trapped in my own drama, and I was pissed. I let myself experience it, knowing that I wanted to feel good, not this crap. I knew my truth wasn't this anymore. As I was vacuuming, which sounds hilarious to have an insight while vacuuming, I got more clear. I thought about how mad I use to be, on a daily basis, over lots of things. Life secretly drove me crazy, along with my kids, people, myself, and the world. I told myself to relax. Inner dialogue: Having a off day is totally OK. I still am an awesome ROCKSTAR! I know who I am. Being frustrated often, was what I did in the past. I had a need for control. It never worked well. I always had to fix something about myself. I thought I would always be flawed. Oh, I was so mean to me. And I thought so many things had to happen, in order to be happy. LOL...here goes: Everyone had to like and approve of me. LOL!!! I had be very thin, very rich, smarter, nicer, a perfect mother, daughter, friend, wife, whoever to whoever...blah blah to the blah! I had so many rules, conditions, in this box that I had put myself in. WOW! I am doing pretty damn great NOW! In the past three year, I have changed so much, more with each year. I am so happy nowadays, regardless of what goes on around me. I live on purpose. Because I know that everything always works out for me. And good things are always coming my way. I am so thankful for everything in my life. Ahh...baring my soul again....relief. :)
~If you set intentions, resolutions, or affirmations...whatever feelings are not a match to this, will usually come up for you. Don't freak out. Just choose to focus on what you want. See past your junk. Example: If you set a resolution to lose weight: You may remember things people said to you about your weight, feelings of not being good enough, fear of failure, whatever stands between you and your goal(in your mind.) Deep breath. Nothing is wrong. You are not screwing up. Breathe in. Feel the wonder of breathing and being alive, for a moment. Breathe out those feelings.
MY BADASS tip, for this new year: BE BOLD. When you feel confident enough, declare what you want. You will intuitively know when to walk through the fear and when to wait. I posted a picture of myself in a bikini, from the polar bear plunge on January 1st. I love my body. I love bikinis. I love looking good in a bikini. By the time it's swimsuit season, I am going to ROCK that bikini like Victoria's Secret model. I am toning up and letting go of fifteen pounds, easily and effortless. I have been fat and I have been thin, but really the only thing I was looking for is to be happy, especially with me. I'm happy with me. It's not even that it's a before picture, but rather, this is me. I love me. That's it. It's about not caring what others think. I was chained to that beast, for many years. It was a prison, in MY mind. Steps that that led to posting my bikini picture, were to blog, which feels in away like I am naked. It is BOLD. It's putting my ideas, words, and thoughts out there to be judged, critiqued, and of course, loved. I always hated to be judged, it was one of my greatest fears. I walk through it. I also wrote a book, that will be coming out in a few months, for all the world to read. There is sex and curse words in it, that some will not like, but I do, and it's not a children's book. What can I say, I like saucy! If people like my book, great, if not...oh well. I wrote it, because I love to write. I have to live my life for me. I make me happy this way.
I wish you ALL happiness this year. It's time for us all to shine. Listen to your inner voice and follow your bliss. Remember you always have your answers and you are the key to your happiness. YAY TO A BRAND NEW YEAR! Fresh start, baby! Daily!
Yesterday, I had lots of feelings come up for me. I was frustrated bout things and getting angry. I was trying to observe my thoughts, without getting caught up in them. I feel for my ego's tricks, got trapped in my own drama, and I was pissed. I let myself experience it, knowing that I wanted to feel good, not this crap. I knew my truth wasn't this anymore. As I was vacuuming, which sounds hilarious to have an insight while vacuuming, I got more clear. I thought about how mad I use to be, on a daily basis, over lots of things. Life secretly drove me crazy, along with my kids, people, myself, and the world. I told myself to relax. Inner dialogue: Having a off day is totally OK. I still am an awesome ROCKSTAR! I know who I am. Being frustrated often, was what I did in the past. I had a need for control. It never worked well. I always had to fix something about myself. I thought I would always be flawed. Oh, I was so mean to me. And I thought so many things had to happen, in order to be happy. LOL...here goes: Everyone had to like and approve of me. LOL!!! I had be very thin, very rich, smarter, nicer, a perfect mother, daughter, friend, wife, whoever to whoever...blah blah to the blah! I had so many rules, conditions, in this box that I had put myself in. WOW! I am doing pretty damn great NOW! In the past three year, I have changed so much, more with each year. I am so happy nowadays, regardless of what goes on around me. I live on purpose. Because I know that everything always works out for me. And good things are always coming my way. I am so thankful for everything in my life. Ahh...baring my soul again....relief. :)
~If you set intentions, resolutions, or affirmations...whatever feelings are not a match to this, will usually come up for you. Don't freak out. Just choose to focus on what you want. See past your junk. Example: If you set a resolution to lose weight: You may remember things people said to you about your weight, feelings of not being good enough, fear of failure, whatever stands between you and your goal(in your mind.) Deep breath. Nothing is wrong. You are not screwing up. Breathe in. Feel the wonder of breathing and being alive, for a moment. Breathe out those feelings.
MY BADASS tip, for this new year: BE BOLD. When you feel confident enough, declare what you want. You will intuitively know when to walk through the fear and when to wait. I posted a picture of myself in a bikini, from the polar bear plunge on January 1st. I love my body. I love bikinis. I love looking good in a bikini. By the time it's swimsuit season, I am going to ROCK that bikini like Victoria's Secret model. I am toning up and letting go of fifteen pounds, easily and effortless. I have been fat and I have been thin, but really the only thing I was looking for is to be happy, especially with me. I'm happy with me. It's not even that it's a before picture, but rather, this is me. I love me. That's it. It's about not caring what others think. I was chained to that beast, for many years. It was a prison, in MY mind. Steps that that led to posting my bikini picture, were to blog, which feels in away like I am naked. It is BOLD. It's putting my ideas, words, and thoughts out there to be judged, critiqued, and of course, loved. I always hated to be judged, it was one of my greatest fears. I walk through it. I also wrote a book, that will be coming out in a few months, for all the world to read. There is sex and curse words in it, that some will not like, but I do, and it's not a children's book. What can I say, I like saucy! If people like my book, great, if not...oh well. I wrote it, because I love to write. I have to live my life for me. I make me happy this way.
I wish you ALL happiness this year. It's time for us all to shine. Listen to your inner voice and follow your bliss. Remember you always have your answers and you are the key to your happiness. YAY TO A BRAND NEW YEAR! Fresh start, baby! Daily!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Jolly joy
I first want to say, Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Merry Christmas, and for those who do not celebrate those...delicious December to you. I felt moved to write about the real meaning of Christmas, that magical Christmas spirit. It sounds cliche to some, but I love a good cliche, with cheesy goodness mixed in, when it fits. This morning, I decided to try to hunt for the elf on the shelf book, which my four year old has been bugging me about. He kept asking me, when the elf was going to come, since he heard about it at school. I had already looked for one at a store, but they didn't have it, so I figured we would have to wait until next year. I told him that maybe there were not enough elves this year. His response, "Mom, there are like twenty-one (like that's an astronomical number) and one might be in my head." LOL. Giving it another try, I called a store in town and they had it. My Mom picked it up for me, cause she's the best. I just love when things are easy. Finn was overjoyed when he saw the elf.
After we read the story, I cleaned up in the kitchen. Finn said, "Mom don't listen, I have to tell the elf something." And for those without small children, when they whisper, it's either is really loud, or so soft it's like gibberish. I heard him say to the elf, "Please make Christmas special of everyone." That, there, is my Christmas present. My heart is full. I told him that he made Christmas really special for me. And he said I made all the holidays special for him, even the scary one, like Halloween. In that moment, I realized a huge thing. I thought back to when I was in my twenties and felt like I was not a good enough mother, unless I could buy the right things, do traditions like other people did them, and all that crap. My Mom always gave me and my little sisters pins to wear, candy, and cards for every holiday. I thought if I did not do it that way, it would not be special. And some years, I couldn't buy certain things for my kids, or do all the holiday things other people did, like taking them to see Disney on Ice or go skiing. I felt like a failure and that my kids would feel deprived. This, my friends, was all in my mind. My kids always had so many wonderful things, we went to New York to see a holiday show, and went to Disney world several times. It was just me comparing my life to others and wasn't really seeing the beauty that there was. It was seeing what was going wrong and not what was going right.
Today, it really dawned on me, that what I give my kids, in the way of enthusiasm for the holidays means more than any trinket I could buy them. I do not remember all those little pins my Mom gave us for holidays, but I remember the decorations and the feeling. I am so glad she gave me that love for holidays and life. My kids will remember me playing Christmas music all the time, the cookie extravaganza, the Christmas movies, me wearing a Santa hat and being really excited about Christmas. They will remember the magical feeling, that, yes comes with awesome gifts. But they will not remember the gifts when they get older, but rather, that they felt loved and special. My older ones will tell stories of complaining about driving around to see Christmas lights, when they just wanted to go home. They will remember, somehow slowly Dad took over holiday decorating and he enjoys it, and since Mom was no longer a control freak, she let him have free reign. That he also would make foot prints from Santa and knock over stuff so it looked realistic. They will have pictures of all four kids wearing some sort of Christmas pajamas, since I gave up on the matching ones. And we are always starting new traditions. We might even do New Years cards this year, who knows?
Lesson is: Let yourself off the hook, of trying to be perfect, or do it how other people do it. I think every family can have their OWN traditions that are unique to them. Have fun, the holidays are suppose to be a merry time, so if something stresses you out, re-think it. Just because you always did something, doesn't mean you can't change it up. Make it easy and joyful and if you can't change it, change you attitude about it. If you can't stand having to buy gifts for all these people, think about how awesome it is, that you have the money to buy the stuff. Count your blessings, you will truly feel the Christmas spirit then. Love to all!!! I wish I could send you all a cookie. I make the BEST chocolate chip cookies. I am calling them Jennylicious Joy cookies. Carry on with the merriment, my friends. :)
After we read the story, I cleaned up in the kitchen. Finn said, "Mom don't listen, I have to tell the elf something." And for those without small children, when they whisper, it's either is really loud, or so soft it's like gibberish. I heard him say to the elf, "Please make Christmas special of everyone." That, there, is my Christmas present. My heart is full. I told him that he made Christmas really special for me. And he said I made all the holidays special for him, even the scary one, like Halloween. In that moment, I realized a huge thing. I thought back to when I was in my twenties and felt like I was not a good enough mother, unless I could buy the right things, do traditions like other people did them, and all that crap. My Mom always gave me and my little sisters pins to wear, candy, and cards for every holiday. I thought if I did not do it that way, it would not be special. And some years, I couldn't buy certain things for my kids, or do all the holiday things other people did, like taking them to see Disney on Ice or go skiing. I felt like a failure and that my kids would feel deprived. This, my friends, was all in my mind. My kids always had so many wonderful things, we went to New York to see a holiday show, and went to Disney world several times. It was just me comparing my life to others and wasn't really seeing the beauty that there was. It was seeing what was going wrong and not what was going right.
Today, it really dawned on me, that what I give my kids, in the way of enthusiasm for the holidays means more than any trinket I could buy them. I do not remember all those little pins my Mom gave us for holidays, but I remember the decorations and the feeling. I am so glad she gave me that love for holidays and life. My kids will remember me playing Christmas music all the time, the cookie extravaganza, the Christmas movies, me wearing a Santa hat and being really excited about Christmas. They will remember the magical feeling, that, yes comes with awesome gifts. But they will not remember the gifts when they get older, but rather, that they felt loved and special. My older ones will tell stories of complaining about driving around to see Christmas lights, when they just wanted to go home. They will remember, somehow slowly Dad took over holiday decorating and he enjoys it, and since Mom was no longer a control freak, she let him have free reign. That he also would make foot prints from Santa and knock over stuff so it looked realistic. They will have pictures of all four kids wearing some sort of Christmas pajamas, since I gave up on the matching ones. And we are always starting new traditions. We might even do New Years cards this year, who knows?
Lesson is: Let yourself off the hook, of trying to be perfect, or do it how other people do it. I think every family can have their OWN traditions that are unique to them. Have fun, the holidays are suppose to be a merry time, so if something stresses you out, re-think it. Just because you always did something, doesn't mean you can't change it up. Make it easy and joyful and if you can't change it, change you attitude about it. If you can't stand having to buy gifts for all these people, think about how awesome it is, that you have the money to buy the stuff. Count your blessings, you will truly feel the Christmas spirit then. Love to all!!! I wish I could send you all a cookie. I make the BEST chocolate chip cookies. I am calling them Jennylicious Joy cookies. Carry on with the merriment, my friends. :)
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Bliss List
I love the quote: "Follow your bliss," by Joseph Campbell. I love the idea of finding your bliss and living your life to the fullest. Instead of a bucket list, I am writing bliss list. These are things that speak to my soul, that the very idea of them brings me joy. By writing them down, you gain more clarity surrounding them and you are telling the Universe that's what you want. Nothing is to big, too small, to superficial, too ludicrous, because it is YOUR list. How the hell does anyone know what is possible for you? Anything is possible. I'll start with twenty things. Let's start having some fun.
1. To skydive
2. To go into the jewelry store and buy myself diamonds
3. To learn to surf
4. To learn to play guitar
5. To be on the NY Times Bestseller's list
6. To meet Oprah
7. To take dance lessons
8. To take singing lessons
9. To have a hot tub
10. To go to Paris
11. To take my parents on a tropical vacation
12. To fly on a private jet
13. To buy a stranger a house
14. To go to Africa and bring presents for children
15. To drink Cristal
16. To swim with dolphins
17. Own a pair of Louboutins
18. Have a show on stage, to uplift & inspire others
19. Have a dog, or two.
20. Zipline in Hawaii
These are just off the top of my head. There are so many beautiful places that I want to see like Costa Rica, Bora Bora, Redwoods, Red Rocks in New Mexico, Greece, Italy, Ireland, and places with volcanoes, geysers, and many more beautiful natural wonders. I am going places, baby!
For me, it's freeing to do this publicly, but you can keep yours private. I say, this is me, people...take it or leave it, but these are some of MY desires. I will come up with even more, even later on today. I am a dreamer, a believer. I am already so damn happy, just eating a yummy lunch, that I cannot even imagine how fun these will be. Let your imagination go wild. Why not live this life to that max. Take a risk, to BE your true self. You are free to think whatever you want, want whatever you want, and be whatever you want. No excuses, dare to be true to you, regardless of what others think. If you feel drawn to something, pay attention to that. You higher self, soul, inner being is your guide. Your soul stirrings are for YOU, to see which path to take. Don't worry about others paths, that is theirs, keep your eyes on the road. BE YOU! Write your bliss list, make a vision board. What are you waiting for?
1. To skydive
2. To go into the jewelry store and buy myself diamonds
3. To learn to surf
4. To learn to play guitar
5. To be on the NY Times Bestseller's list
6. To meet Oprah
7. To take dance lessons
8. To take singing lessons
9. To have a hot tub
10. To go to Paris
11. To take my parents on a tropical vacation
12. To fly on a private jet
13. To buy a stranger a house
14. To go to Africa and bring presents for children
15. To drink Cristal
16. To swim with dolphins
17. Own a pair of Louboutins
18. Have a show on stage, to uplift & inspire others
19. Have a dog, or two.
20. Zipline in Hawaii
These are just off the top of my head. There are so many beautiful places that I want to see like Costa Rica, Bora Bora, Redwoods, Red Rocks in New Mexico, Greece, Italy, Ireland, and places with volcanoes, geysers, and many more beautiful natural wonders. I am going places, baby!
For me, it's freeing to do this publicly, but you can keep yours private. I say, this is me, people...take it or leave it, but these are some of MY desires. I will come up with even more, even later on today. I am a dreamer, a believer. I am already so damn happy, just eating a yummy lunch, that I cannot even imagine how fun these will be. Let your imagination go wild. Why not live this life to that max. Take a risk, to BE your true self. You are free to think whatever you want, want whatever you want, and be whatever you want. No excuses, dare to be true to you, regardless of what others think. If you feel drawn to something, pay attention to that. You higher self, soul, inner being is your guide. Your soul stirrings are for YOU, to see which path to take. Don't worry about others paths, that is theirs, keep your eyes on the road. BE YOU! Write your bliss list, make a vision board. What are you waiting for?
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
I ♥ ME!
Traditionally, in America, we give thanks for our family and our many blessings on THANKSGIVING. I decided to rebel and post as my facebook status, that I am thankful for myself. I really am. I tell my family how much I appreciate them daily. I am thankful for everything (my kids, hubby, parents, sister, friends, home, cars, food in my fridge, and all the wonderful things in my life.) I think that already with my youngest, who will be two in January, I have said, " I love you" a billizion times. Now back to me. LOL. Here's why it is so important, in my experience to make self-love the most important.
I was a young mom, of twenty, and I fell in love with my little princess. But as I went through my twenties, issues I never dealt with, like loving myself, made it difficult for me to unconditionally love. I ate myself silly for a while and did not like how my body was. I lost a lot of weight, which was great for my ego, for a while. I still did not like myself or feel good enough. I would want good things to happen for me, but I would beat the hell out of myself internally, for my mistakes. I did not think I deserved great things, on this unconscious level. I compare myself to other mothers and did not feel I measured up in many ways. I judged myself all the time. I wanted to be happy, I just thought it would be after external things changed. A really funny one is, thinking if your kids do not talk back, you would be happy. Way to give your power away. Enough with the past, fast forward to now. I did a lot of focusing on positive thinking, Law of Attraction, studying spirituality. I bloomed into the best version of myself.
Now, I love myself. I love who I have become. I love everything about myself. I just get better and better. I get smarter and more creative, as I let myself be true to me. I open my heart more and more, judging less, having more fun every day. I am a brilliant writer. I get hotter, sexier, more beautiful, as I let how I feel about myself, the most important thing. I love my freckles, my angel kisses! I love my gorgeous red hair, my bright blue eyes, and my pouty lips. I love my curves, the strong muscles,and my 5'0 frame. I love every cell of my body, in the magnificent vessel it is. I love that this body has nurtured four healthy babies, given birth to them, and then nourished them when they were born. I love my ability to change, to grow, to adapt, and ultimately shine. I appreciate that I am a Divine spark in this amazing body. I am going to live this life to the fullest, embracing all the deliciousness there is. I am such a rockstar. I am the bee's knees, the cat's meow. I am so proud of who I am. This true self-love comes from your spirit, not your ego.
Why not think you are the greatest thing in this Universe? Everyone should. There is no competition. We can all be #1 in our lives. When you really love yourself, you set boundaries. You teach people how to treat you. It's really about your energy though. People can feel your self-love and confidence and will treat you differently. When you love yourself, you give, with no strings attached. You don't need anyone to validate you, or act a certain way to make you happy. Everyone on the planet can tell you how great you are, but it would not matter, if you did not believe it. And what a waste of a amazing life, to not love yourself. Guilt, doubt, fear, regret, judgement, & negativity have to be evicted out of your brain. You are so worth it.
Some tasty tips:
~Affirmations. Post them everywhere and repeat them aloud to yourself. After a while, that is what is running in your head, that kind, loving voice.
~Follow your dreams. Find what makes you happy and go for it. Do things, surround yourself with, find things that bring you joy.
~Think positively about life. Give yourself a break from judging yourself and others. Opening your mind and heart is freeing.
~Appreciate the good in your life. It feels great to focus on that. Take it in. Know you are worth it, you deserve it.
~Decide that you change the way you think. Your thoughts are not stuck forever in your head. You can change your mind, in any moment. Isn't that reassuring?
I am thankful for all you read my blogs and just for people in general. There are just so many awesome people out there. Be thankful for yourself. Say, I LOVE ME! Lovies to ALL!
I was a young mom, of twenty, and I fell in love with my little princess. But as I went through my twenties, issues I never dealt with, like loving myself, made it difficult for me to unconditionally love. I ate myself silly for a while and did not like how my body was. I lost a lot of weight, which was great for my ego, for a while. I still did not like myself or feel good enough. I would want good things to happen for me, but I would beat the hell out of myself internally, for my mistakes. I did not think I deserved great things, on this unconscious level. I compare myself to other mothers and did not feel I measured up in many ways. I judged myself all the time. I wanted to be happy, I just thought it would be after external things changed. A really funny one is, thinking if your kids do not talk back, you would be happy. Way to give your power away. Enough with the past, fast forward to now. I did a lot of focusing on positive thinking, Law of Attraction, studying spirituality. I bloomed into the best version of myself.
Now, I love myself. I love who I have become. I love everything about myself. I just get better and better. I get smarter and more creative, as I let myself be true to me. I open my heart more and more, judging less, having more fun every day. I am a brilliant writer. I get hotter, sexier, more beautiful, as I let how I feel about myself, the most important thing. I love my freckles, my angel kisses! I love my gorgeous red hair, my bright blue eyes, and my pouty lips. I love my curves, the strong muscles,and my 5'0 frame. I love every cell of my body, in the magnificent vessel it is. I love that this body has nurtured four healthy babies, given birth to them, and then nourished them when they were born. I love my ability to change, to grow, to adapt, and ultimately shine. I appreciate that I am a Divine spark in this amazing body. I am going to live this life to the fullest, embracing all the deliciousness there is. I am such a rockstar. I am the bee's knees, the cat's meow. I am so proud of who I am. This true self-love comes from your spirit, not your ego.
Why not think you are the greatest thing in this Universe? Everyone should. There is no competition. We can all be #1 in our lives. When you really love yourself, you set boundaries. You teach people how to treat you. It's really about your energy though. People can feel your self-love and confidence and will treat you differently. When you love yourself, you give, with no strings attached. You don't need anyone to validate you, or act a certain way to make you happy. Everyone on the planet can tell you how great you are, but it would not matter, if you did not believe it. And what a waste of a amazing life, to not love yourself. Guilt, doubt, fear, regret, judgement, & negativity have to be evicted out of your brain. You are so worth it.
Some tasty tips:
~Affirmations. Post them everywhere and repeat them aloud to yourself. After a while, that is what is running in your head, that kind, loving voice.
~Follow your dreams. Find what makes you happy and go for it. Do things, surround yourself with, find things that bring you joy.
~Think positively about life. Give yourself a break from judging yourself and others. Opening your mind and heart is freeing.
~Appreciate the good in your life. It feels great to focus on that. Take it in. Know you are worth it, you deserve it.
~Decide that you change the way you think. Your thoughts are not stuck forever in your head. You can change your mind, in any moment. Isn't that reassuring?
I am thankful for all you read my blogs and just for people in general. There are just so many awesome people out there. Be thankful for yourself. Say, I LOVE ME! Lovies to ALL!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Rock on with your true self!
What do you want? Why? How will that make you feel? Asking myself that, I thought I would feel better about myself if others thought I was really great. That's not giving any power away, is it? Try all of it! People are going to think what they want, which has nothing to do with you, you can't climb in their head and change it. In feeling good about myself, that would make me happy. Not the cycle of...I am happy, now I am mad, I am mad, I am OK, dependent on outside circumstances. You cannot control what others do, even your kids, they are not robots. And some people will think you are a good parent if you do it their way and a bad parent if you don't. Staying out of other people's parenting really frees up time, for sure. I can have an opinion about it, but I don't have to share it. My experience with parenting is, you change your mind, revise rules, you make mistakes, so it's hard to really stand on a soap box too long. Funny thing is, in some way I was always going against the grain with parenting, like sharing a bed with baby, making them vegetarians, etc. I was getting judged and I hated it. Just smile, laugh, and walk away...it throws them off.
Some people declare, "I don't care what the hell anyone thinks." And you totally do not believe them. They say it as a defense. It's really hard to not care at ALL, totally detached. You are going to be too much for some and not enough for others. I sure am. And I can say I don't care, most of the time. I tried to be one size fits all, which is impossible. In writing my novel, some people will love it, some will not. It is preference and I didn't write it for everyone. Some people would rather read about bugs and isn't it great they have that option. If I did not start thinking differently, I would have never stepped out of my comfort zone and wrote a book. Never in a million years, would i have thought I would make rap videos on youtube. I am just being myself now, however that leads me, and it is so exciting. My ego will chime in with some fun thoughts like what would so and so think. Well, so and so can think I am whatever they want. I am not living so and so's life. Thank God. Cause I would suck at being them. I am a real good me. And ultimately, that's all that matters. And it you don't like it, oh well. ;)
Don't let others define or put you in a box. And don't do that to yourself. If you feel inspired to do or be something, go for it. Never fall for the, "Moms can't do that or I'm too old. to do that." Who says? Not so and so again!!!
This is a post on my facebook page, that goes along perfectly with this. I am talking to YOU directly! ROCK ON!!! https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Peace-Love-Joy-Sparkles/122323451185965
“You are one of a kind, an authentic masterpiece, a genuine original, a unique and special individual! Doesn't that feel WONDERFUL! That also means that you are to follow your own path, not concerned with what others think. They are steering their own ship, you steer yours. BE YOU! The way you, or others, may have defined you, or labeled you, is OVA!!! OVER, DONE, FINITO! If you feel that you were put in a box by others or you did it to yourself, now you know better. YOU ARE FREE! Well, at my age, or Moms can't do that, what would people think...BLAH x 3. What "they" think is none of your beeswax anyway. Don't give other people power over you. No excuses to not living your life for YOU. And when you are a happy, fulfilled, secure person, your relationships are amazingly deep. Remember this is YOUR life and YOU ARE FREAKING AMAZING! Now act like it! ;) xoxo”
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