I learn a lot from my children. I learn about myself in parenting them. I am blessed to have four kids, who keep me on my toes, and being me lots of joy. I have one daughter, McKayla, a fourteen year old, in her first year of high school. I have three sons, Aidan (10-5th grade), Finnegan (almost 5-preschool) and Seamus (2 yrs old today). I deal with different personalities and different ages, which all have their awesome parts and their...well, their opportunities for me to grow. I cannot control any of them, nor would I want to, except when they are bad. LOL! I see those places where I get frustrated and want to control, as a way for me to really let go. It really changes your state of mind. I wanted to share some of what I've been learning and realizing for myself. The Crappy C's and the Cool C's.
Compare: Never compare yourself to others. It's a dumb game that you will lose to someone, in some area. I want my kids to learn that you really are running your OWN race, not against someone else. Ahhh...in my twenties, I compared myself to every other mother. This is the biggest energy drain. Just do YOU, do YOU good, and leave everyone else out of it. When you really work on loving yourself, you value yourself more, and don't need to make others, better or worse, than you. You realize you are free, to be you, and they are free, to be them.
Compete: When you are focused on how well someone else is doing, it may momentarily give you a boost to get your butt in gear, but then what...they go ahead of you, or someone else now is, and then you are back to square one. Let yourself shine, in your own way, doing your best and you will be happy because you are enjoying YOUR journey. I really do wish everyone well and that they have success, there is plenty to go around. I want my kids to realize that compare & compete are an evil duo, not to be messed with.
Control: My kids are so good at providing me with material to learn this one. Whether it is them, not listening/attitude/being kids, or your neighbor, brother, partner, friend, whoever, you CANNOT control anyone. When you are trying to force it, see what happens, when you let go. One of my sanity savers is sending Light & Love to whoever and it centers me. If I act like an ass and yell, I remind myself, that while that yields immediate results, in the process I felt bad. So what do I want...to feel good, or control/get my way/let others have the key to my happiness.
Complain: Where you ever listening to someone complain and thinking, I wish they would shut the hell up. Well, that's what you sound like you complain. It doesn't solve anything. Maybe for some, they get people to change behaviors, but going about it in a positive way, makes you feel a heck of a lot better, in the process. And if you observe people, you will see the Law of Attraction at work, in that if they constantly complain, they attract more to complain about. I have heard people complain about things, that I thought were good, it's all perspective. Like grocery shopping, I love having a variety to choose from and the money to pay for them. That makes it a totally different experience for me. It's the same with exercise and cooking, you can find they joy, cause why live on minute of your life, not trying to make the best of it.
Cool C's (Could be called Conscious C's also)
Cultivate: Create new way of thinking, more positive thoughts and lots of appreciation. New habits like meditation (one of the best things I ever did), a gratitude journal, and there are a million books of self-help, positive thinking, spirituality that can really change your life. Even if you replace some TV shows with funnier ones or really a juicy novel, or whatever brings you joy at the end of your day. Remember you can change your life by cultivating a new version of it. In my upbeat attitude, I show my kids how to cultivate a way of life.
Choose: We have many choices we take for granted. We get to choose what we eat, what we wear, what we read, watch on TV, who we hang out with, and what we think. Be choosy about your thoughts, Don't let a bunch of negative garbage play on a constant loop in your head. OK, so your boss is an ass, change jobs or change your attitude about him. You get to choose how you think, and if you don't like your negative thinking, cause you realize it's not working anymore, than you can choose to think positively. I teach my kids, that each one of us, can always choose differently, in each moment. And if you mess up, there is always next time.
Clarity: With each interaction we have, everything we see, read, hear we make judgements. We don't have to judge them as good or bad, but by rather if it feels good to us, resonates with us, works for us. We gain clarity everyday. I like that, I'd like more of that, I LOVE that! When we can detach a little and not take everything personally, we can see things much clearer. For me, clarity is not about figuring out everything, but a vibrational, spiritual, energy thing. When something makes my heart sing, touches my soul, and opens my mind more I gain so much clarity. I teach my kids that they make up their own minds and that it is up to each one of us, to decide what we believe. I can't give them or anyone clarity, I wouldn't wnat to rob them of their joyful journey.
Care: Take care of yourself. Take baths, move your body, eat delicious things, feed your soul with things that delight you. Care about how you feel about you. My message is always~LOVE YOURSELF! And you are so much more loving to everyone, when you have taken care of yourself. Don't expect yourself to be perfect and get down on yourself. Always forgive yourself for mistakes, the past is done, and now move forward. Only dwell on the positive. Every time I say I love you to my kids, I am building their self-esteem. I want them to know they are ROCKSTARS. How I treat myself, is what they learn about how to treat themselves. So, if you leave dishes in the sink, your playroom doesn't get leaned one day, you forgot it was show-and-tell day at school...oh well. It is OK. Feeling guilty is a waste, life is to be lived!
My goal everyday is to uplift and inspire, especially through my writing and blogging. I love to spread joy and remind others to love themselves. I aim to raise my vibration and deepen my connection to God/Source/Universe and have fun! You get to choose what works for you, isn't that awesome! Muah to ALL!