Sunday, March 27, 2011

Oh YEAH~Rock on with your BAD self!

Oh YEAH, as in:  

And Bad as in:

I love being silly and having fun!  I love letting my dork out, my rockstar, blingin' princess, and spiritual goddess at the same time!   My parents wanted me to grow up, like all of them do and I did.  You follow their rules.  One of my Dad's was you can never leave the house with wet hair.  LOL.  He made up his own rules for himself and me.  His rules always crack me up.  As a mom, sometimes my kids will question my rules and I laugh because I think—I don't know?  It's because everyone else does, you are suppose to, or some book says so.  I have learned that I really want my kids to be happy, live their best life for them, and  love themselves over all.  When I was younger, I did what was expected and would feel good and then I wouldn't.  I remember a boyfriend didn't like my perfume so I stopped wearing it.  OH MY, I was good at becoming the chameleon/people pleaser/altered version of myself.  We cannot be truly happy living by others rules, standards, or ideals if they— at our core, are not ours.  We can try them on to see if they fit, mix them with our own, finding a balance or it makes us more clear on what we do want/like/believe. 

Now, I come full circle to having my teenage daughter trying to give me rules.  I am to only post once a day on Facebook and I must get three comments or it's a failure, to be taken down immediately.  I must dress like a MOM, which apparently means I must dress from JCPenney, which is funny because I got some killer glitter high heels from there.  I am being told to grow up again and follow some more rules.  Well, I intuitive go through my life making them up and changing them as I go allow.  That's what we all do, make our own.   Btw, my daughter listed about 20 rules that I break on a daily basis.  I laugh at this!  
The old version of GROWing up:
Real with 

The new version is GROWing as a person:
Gaining a
Relationship with 

We are always growing into a new version of ourselves-everyday!  Thank goodness we are always changing, it is way more FUN to be able to making new choices, new preferences, new friends, new beginnings, new favorites, and new lives.  You can even have everything stay the same and just think in a new way, change your favorite color, find a new hobby, or get a cute new hairstyle.  Sometimes it isn't until there is a life crisis or some life-changing thing happens that forces us to change.  Why wait until something happens?  BE who you want to be NOW!

If no one ever broke the rules—nothing would have ever changed.  You don't necessarily need to quit your day job and become a rockstar but you could have a garage band, take singing lessons, or even just listen to your favorite music real loud and play air guitar more often.  I am REALLY good at that!  Why not?  That's my answer a lot!  A great question I have heard was, What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail?  Hmmm.  It reminds me of being young and seeing the world full of possibilities.  Well, guess what?  They are still there.  What usually stands in your way is fear.  And without that, what would you be.  A lot happier and freer.  Think about it.    

And if people make fun of your changes (like my daughter does to me), remember you are living YOUR life, not theirs.  Those nudge buckets that tease you help you gain confidence and a good sense of humor.  I love you darling daughter, McKayla.  And Love & Light to all! 


Sunday, March 20, 2011


Ahhhh.....The super moon!  I had to go down to the beach and see the majesty of the beautiful Universe.  All the clearing, cleansing, and releasing of old patterns that went along with it-I embrace it all.  I am so glad I have the awareness to see clearly. 

I felt the energy changing leading up to it and I was feeling out of balance.  But I fought it hard, as the positive person I am.  I try to focus on what I want and like, as much as I can.  Complaining is not something I like to dwell in too's yucky!  I see worry and guilt as the same thing—negativity, only one is in the future and other is in the past. I did not want to talk about my funky monkey mood because I did not want to create more of it and and wished I could hide in a cave.  Well, my four kids would not have appreciated it very much.  And most moms have had those days where you are trying...but everything keeps ticking you off. 

My youngest, one year old Seamus, was teething and crabby which helped.  LOL.  He knocked over my ice water which I yelled for a towel to my daughter, as I was drenched and trying to prevent it from getting under the computer tower.  As I put my wet sweatshirt in the laundry room, I was doing the mad-talk-where-you-say-&^#$@-whatever-stupid water.  I know I would have been comical to watch.  I went in my room to get another shirt and I started to cry and all these emotions came up, out of nowhere.  I knew it was old patterns of thought I use to think.  Thank God, I don't anymore!  It was the story where you are telling yourself all this stuff where you are a victim and all this stuff is wrong—it was an EGO pity party.  I would wipe my tears and go in another room and boo-hoo would come back.  So I surrendered for a few minutes and let the storm pass.  I told my daughter, every once in a while you need a good cry.  I knew that I wanted to feel better so I put up Easter decorations and voila!  I was in my happy place again! 

I let go of the drama and allowed myself to naturally get back to ME.  I know the real me is a beautiful, kind, creative, dynamic, authentic, smart, positive, among others and I OWN it!  You have to love yourself, all of you!  So new acronyms:     
Our Wonderful Nature, Outrageous Wonderlicious Nirvana, Outstanding Well-being & Newness (you pick)

Sometimes we have to SIT.
Saturation (information, emotions, feelings)
Integration (processing it all)

MOON-Thank you full moon for your nudge for me to let what needs to fall away making way for more good flowing energy!
Making an

My HEART felt so full with the full moon, like my heart chakra was fully open to the MAX.  Going with how I feel as my guide.
Energy of

I love where I am at.  Seeing my future open with wonderful possibilities and I trust that.  I wish everyone the happiness that I feel.  I choose that! And I find more and more things to be happy about-everyday!  :)

Monday, March 7, 2011

Flying babycakes!

My babycakes, Seamus Patrick, is a funny lil' guy.  He turned one last month and he's so adorable, he makes my heart swell with love every day.  He's a love cuddler, very determined to hang out in the dishwasher, be on my hip, and eat any tiny speck of anything on the floor.  Walking, he's like...whatever...I'll get to it when I want.  He is laid back when it comes to walking but he can get this fiery temper about anything else.  He's interesting to watch and I see parallels in my own life.  He would take a few steps and I'd think...he's a walker.  Well, the next day, he'd pretend like that never happened.  A few days later, he's be hotdoggin' at 11pm, smiling proudly-I'm doin' it-and you can't stop me.  Oh look, there's something for me to knock over, someone left a cup with water, there's some paper over there-that-I-can-rip-up-and-eat, I'm walking over there.  My husband would come home around, Seamus would not walk, he'd crawl or want to be held.  Now, he's showing my husband he can walk and he's laughing at himself, out of excitement and happiness that he falls over.  Learning anything new is kinda like that.

On my journey to find happiness-God for me-myself-life I am walking now.  I am not running yet but that's totally fine.  When I was in my crawling stage, I would read about spiritual subjects and that's it.  As my learning continued and I was learning to walk on my own path, I would walk the talk sometimes.  I would read about being spiritual and coming from my Higher Self (inner being-soul-whatever you like) and  I would think I understood.  Someone would make me mad, do something I didn't like, or the wind would blow the wrong way and I'd forget how to walk.  I would get mad, judgment, playing victim-you know-totally from my ego but I swear I really meant well.  LOL.  I felt like everyone needed to do things my way, understand me, validate me, make me happy-WOW, giving all my power away.  Along the way, wonderful people were teaching me to walk authentically and I would hold their hand, as I wobbled along.  I would admire how well they walked, their strides looked smooth and some of them could walk, in high heels, or even run.  I aimed for that but wasn't sure if I would ever get there.  Living my life and time continued on-I was dedicated to being me and living a joyous life.  I gained clarity.  I realized I can never follow anyone elses path because it is their own and their swagger is their own.  Did you ever try to mimic someone's footsteps in the sand and follow their imprints, it's awkward.  Just like I thought I should be like Oprah, my Mom, Wayne Dyer and many others-that would be dreadful.  

I realize more every day how fabulous I am by BEING myself and allowing others to be themselves.  Honoring others path when different from yours takes skills but it's worth it.  I focus on my happiness and my connection rather than being on a never-ending quest.  My life's purpose is unveiled every day, more and more as I write, play, meditate, love, laugh, and be.  Last night, I had an amazing dream where I was flying-it was so FUN!  Instead of learning to run and succeed, I am learning to fly, letting my spirit soar to greater heights.  They say the sky's the limit, but what do the know?  My wish for my kids is to give them wings to fly.  Before you know it, Seamus will dream big and I will teach him to fly.  Being his own bird, of course, my babycakes will probably fly in his own direction.  And I will smile.  :)