Monday, March 7, 2011

Flying babycakes!

My babycakes, Seamus Patrick, is a funny lil' guy.  He turned one last month and he's so adorable, he makes my heart swell with love every day.  He's a love cuddler, very determined to hang out in the dishwasher, be on my hip, and eat any tiny speck of anything on the floor.  Walking, he's like...whatever...I'll get to it when I want.  He is laid back when it comes to walking but he can get this fiery temper about anything else.  He's interesting to watch and I see parallels in my own life.  He would take a few steps and I'd think...he's a walker.  Well, the next day, he'd pretend like that never happened.  A few days later, he's be hotdoggin' at 11pm, smiling proudly-I'm doin' it-and you can't stop me.  Oh look, there's something for me to knock over, someone left a cup with water, there's some paper over there-that-I-can-rip-up-and-eat, I'm walking over there.  My husband would come home around, Seamus would not walk, he'd crawl or want to be held.  Now, he's showing my husband he can walk and he's laughing at himself, out of excitement and happiness that he falls over.  Learning anything new is kinda like that.

On my journey to find happiness-God for me-myself-life I am walking now.  I am not running yet but that's totally fine.  When I was in my crawling stage, I would read about spiritual subjects and that's it.  As my learning continued and I was learning to walk on my own path, I would walk the talk sometimes.  I would read about being spiritual and coming from my Higher Self (inner being-soul-whatever you like) and  I would think I understood.  Someone would make me mad, do something I didn't like, or the wind would blow the wrong way and I'd forget how to walk.  I would get mad, judgment, playing victim-you know-totally from my ego but I swear I really meant well.  LOL.  I felt like everyone needed to do things my way, understand me, validate me, make me happy-WOW, giving all my power away.  Along the way, wonderful people were teaching me to walk authentically and I would hold their hand, as I wobbled along.  I would admire how well they walked, their strides looked smooth and some of them could walk, in high heels, or even run.  I aimed for that but wasn't sure if I would ever get there.  Living my life and time continued on-I was dedicated to being me and living a joyous life.  I gained clarity.  I realized I can never follow anyone elses path because it is their own and their swagger is their own.  Did you ever try to mimic someone's footsteps in the sand and follow their imprints, it's awkward.  Just like I thought I should be like Oprah, my Mom, Wayne Dyer and many others-that would be dreadful.  

I realize more every day how fabulous I am by BEING myself and allowing others to be themselves.  Honoring others path when different from yours takes skills but it's worth it.  I focus on my happiness and my connection rather than being on a never-ending quest.  My life's purpose is unveiled every day, more and more as I write, play, meditate, love, laugh, and be.  Last night, I had an amazing dream where I was flying-it was so FUN!  Instead of learning to run and succeed, I am learning to fly, letting my spirit soar to greater heights.  They say the sky's the limit, but what do the know?  My wish for my kids is to give them wings to fly.  Before you know it, Seamus will dream big and I will teach him to fly.  Being his own bird, of course, my babycakes will probably fly in his own direction.  And I will smile.  :)

1 comment:

  1. Oh Jenny - you're so wise! I love how you're able to share your journey with wisdom, compassion and mostly humor! Your sheer delight in it all comes shining through your words. It's beautiful - and SO FUN! Keep it up, Girl! You are learning to fly - and you can fly ANYWHERE that you want to. You're beautiful to watch.

    Love you!