My whole life, I "should" myself on a regular basis. Finding new and interesting ways to beat myself up but playing the should game. Well, that era is over. I made a list of my shoulds, which I didn't realize I still had a pretty long list which constantly contradicted itself. I should be a better wife, mother, daughter. I should write more, be more spiritual, exercise more, and often course have more balance. I actually forgot tons of them like I should know better or have all the answers. What this does is only cause disconnection from my soul. The only thing I know that is true is that I SHOULD be myself.
I picture the shoulds as Mr. & Mrs. Should as the perfect people. They are even better than the Joneses', you have to keep up with the Joneses' but the Shoulds not only have the stuff but they do everything right also. They play every sport, do every activity, do yoga, volunteer for everything (I don't think they sleep), read everything, know everything, and they never worry. Their kids get perfect grades, manners, and trophies fill their rooms. Mr. Should is the a sports coach, church leader, and businessman who never gets mad. He is handsome, of course. Mrs. Should is thin, pretty, nice and her house is completely organized. All of her kid's picture are scrapbooked perfectly. She has a successful business, cooks like a chef, and has written a book on how to be a vixen in the bedroom. They have game nights at their house, they are very funny, and build houses for the the homeless. They grow their own stinking vegetables and they sing songs in perfect pitch while they garden. Funny thing is...we all know people that are a tiny bit like this. They are just part of the diversity in the world, making it more interesting.
Everyone is so different and we can never compare ourselves or our personal journeys to one another. This is so diempowering, it's like making a little prison inside of ourselves. In reality, you are free to think whatever you want. Thinking about what you should do, in normal circumstances-is fine, it's when it makes you feel bad. There are so many things we do right that we never give ourselves credit for. You can take responsibility for your own happiness by making changes internally first before you make changes on the outside. I love to hear people tips along the way. I suggest you make a should list if you feel overwhelmed in any way.
Making a should list is so freeing, like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I burned the paper as a ritual to release the old energy. You can rip it up into tiny pieces or whatever you like, but never read it agin. It's useless. Every should can be turned into a could. I could...be happy, be myself, let my light shine.
Free yourself to BE yourself, your authentically true self. Wishing you all the best!!!